is every sorority as mean as mine?
by: Real TalkI am friendly with other girls in sororities and from time to time they'll bash the girls or who is in charge, but honestly I feel like my sorority is so mean and we have such a reputation for it now. Before you ask, no I am not going to drop it, I have spent too much time and money, plus I am leaving soon. If I drop it I could lose the few nice friends I have. No, I am not going to say what sorority I am in, but it is pretty obvious because are known for being mean. Do other sorority girls feel like their chapter is cliquey, mean and lacks sisterhood? I wish I could go back in a recruitment time machine and get the chapter that I actually wanted and truly felt like I fit in.
#1 by: sorry, long post
Hi, this makes me so sad to read. I don't know what chapter that you are in, but I am so sorry that you are experiencing this in your sisterhood. I think every chapter whether they want to admit it or not experiences something like this at some point.
If you are looking for any solutions to the issues between the members and girls in charge, these problems usually arise from a disconnection and lack of communication between members. The general members don't know what work goes on behind the scenes to make things happen in a chapter and the leaders sometimes forget that while they hold more decision making power, they are sisters just like everyone else in the chapter and their other sisters voices are just as meaningful. Whenever I hear sisters talking poorly about or down to other sisters, I always try to pull them aside and hear their side and encourage them to constructively talk to that sister directly about whatever the issue may be.
In terms of cliques, when you get a large group of people together everyone will not be best friends with everyone else. Some people will be closer in terms of personality and shared interests then others and thats ok. But, when it becomes a problem is when sisters turn hanging out with some sisters more than others into excluding other sisters. Everyone in a sorority was brought into the chapter under the same principles to live by and we need to remember that and respect one another. Keep trying to reach out to people that you don't normally talk to in the chapter. It isn't a perfect solution, but if others see you trying to make a connection they may be more inclined to do the same. Maybe there is someone in your chapter that you haven't really connected with before, but upon reaching out again you may realize that there is something that you have in common that you didn't expect. Don't be scared to put yourself outside of your comfort zone, you never know what friendships or new found respects might come out of it.
For campus reputation, people will think whatever way they want to think about a particular chapter. But, from personal experience nothing makes me feel better then when i'm in letters and someone else in letters greets me back with a smile and a hi or when I see other greek members take the time to attend other greek events and look happy to be there. It may not be the number one thing you want to do that day or you may have a bunch of other things to be doing, but taking that time and appreciating the time and energy that they put into that event means something to those sisters and they recognize that. If you go to a greek event talk to sisters outside of your sorority and be open to talking to other greek life members that approach you, make those connections.
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