My experience rushing SigEp

I rushed Sigep as a late bid last spring, and I wanted to give some insight into what to expect should you decide to rush. On the first night, I drank 15 beers in only 45 minutes. My peers saw this as a remarkable feat, and rewarded me with an offering of 6 white chrysanthemums in a hand basket woven from Raffia yarn, as is tradition. One of the brothers told me he wanted to show me something I’d need to see before I committed to the fraternity. I obliged and he unhinged his jaw, his mouth dropping open about 10 inches and revealing some sort of manifestation of energy completely beyond the comprehension of any living being. Not possible to be described in any capacity, as though observing something that exists in 6 dimensions at once. In that single moment my soul departed from my physical body and showed me in a dream-like sequence all of the major threats humanity faces in the future and what me and my fraternity brothers have to do to stop them. The shape and texture of my brain changed allowing me superhuman capabilities such as the ability to freely travel back and forth across time as well as immortality. For 2 weeks afterwards I could not appear in public because my face gave off such an intense heavenly glimmer that it would surely blind all who witnessed it. I hope this was helpful to anyone who is still trying to find a fraternity.