Anyone else hate waking up guilty?

I hate myself. I feel so disgusting and horrible. I woke up today and had to grab my clothes and tiptoe out. To be honest, I don't even remember how I got here. I have a pounding headache and I'm very sore. It was not worth it. My bf would be so pissed if he ever found out. I don't know why I keep doing this. I wish I could be loyal to him...