what i wish i'd known...
by: Wahoowa
I'm a third year and I see it's time for recruitment again. It's interesting to look back and see myself as a first year on my first day of recruitment. So many hopes and fears.
First of all, good luck. You're going to need it. Recruitment is far more random than you imagine. The bottom line is there are a lot more girls than spots in the best sororities. From what I've seen it does not always "work out the way it's supposed to" as they say the first day. Really great girls will get cut from their dream sorority.
My advice is to enjoy the process as much as you can (it's really like speed dating imho) and be yourself.
I would also advise you not to settle for something that doesn't feel 100% right. A sorority is a BIG commitment in time and money. My friends who joined a sorority just to join ended up dropping. My friends who waited and did informal or rushed second year are much happier and ended up in really great sororitys.
You will be judged by the letters you wear. Harsh but true. Bottom tiers can have a tough time socially.
You will survive if it doesn't work out. Bid Day will be tough but it gets easier after that. I actually find my non sorority friends to be more involved on grounds. Keep yourself busy.
You will still have a ton of friends if you're not in a sorority. And you'll have a lot more spending money!
Best of luck to all PNMs!
Commentby: judged
If you felt judged by your letters and felt like your social problems were because you were in a low house, I'm just going to say that the problem was you, not your house. I really don't see any judgement by letters other than some are more academic, some more involved, etc. No one here thinks some houses are great and some are social lepers. Grow up.
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by: Get real
by: ISC
No one is judged for the letters they wear. All chapters, from "top tier" to "bottom tier", have negative reputations associated with their letters but no one really takes those to heart. Every sorority has something great to offer!
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#2by: Well
I agree don’t settle for the wrong sorority, but it can be hard to tell which sororitys are wrong for you during rush. If you get a bid, take it and see how your first few weeks go. You could end up loving it. If you don’t, just drop before initiation and you’re all set, you can go through rush again.
And although I agree that you’ll be judged by the letters you wear, my friends in the bottom two sororities seem to be some of the happiest with their sisterhood. Sure they’re probably not going out with many top tier guys, but that’s not really what being in a sorority is about. Just go where you click with the girls
by: Wahoowa
I got cut from my favorite sorority and was crushed. It wasn't a top tier and I really thought I had reasonable expectations. So I accepted a bid from a sorority that never felt right. It was an expensive mistake, both in time and money. It seems like it would be easy to quit before initiation but it's not. Believe me.
As it turns out, I probably could have done informal with my favorite if I had waited. I think some people just need a little more time to know what's right and informal is a kinder, gentler process.
Trying not to say anything bad about any sorority, just trying to share my experience. Hopefully someone will find it helpful. I think it would have helped me. It's easy to get swept up in the drama of it all. Choose carefully. Only you know what's right for you.\n\n\n\n\n
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by: Well
It sounds like the sorority you joined felt wrong from the beginning - I totally agree that it doesnt make sense to even accept a bid if this is the case. I know that I didn’t know if my sorority felt quite right when I accepted the bid, but after the first few weeks as a new member I knew joining was the right choice. I just want PNM’s to know that it’s okay to not immediately fall in love with your sorority! It takes some time and you have the time to figure it out before you get roped in by initiation
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by: Oh
by: WOA
#4by: Wahoowa
I compare it to buying a pair of shoes that ALMOST fit, but don't quite. I tried breaking them in (on the advice of my Pi Chi and many others) but it didn't work. Sadly, the shoes that fit the best were sold out. I should have waited for the next shoe sale.
It is hard to quit once you accept a bid, especially when everyone wants you to stay. It was a hard lesson.
by: Wow
by: Sorry
But if you would’ve gotten a coach you would have been dropped. Normal people don’t do that at Uva
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by: oh
Like the person above me said, "coaches" are tossed around more as a joke. A few people here and there get one but they are not the norm. Also, how were you even able to sort out "favorites" already? Was it based on your brief interactions or on something more substantial (i.e. Not based on greekrank)?
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by: Sad
There are a lot of girls from my high school in sororitys so a lot of my favorites are based on that. Pretty sure I'm going to drop and try informal.
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by: Wahoowa
Not anymore. I joined the wrong sorority then quit. I wish I'd waited until second year. Being in the wrong sorority is the worst.
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