house rankings (very real, mid-tier will amaze you!)

Alright ladies and gentlemen, we all know what the rankings are, but it's time they were laid down in writing. Here they are, with my reasons.

Top Tier:
Gryffindor - You may not like how they're all goody two shoes about everything, but the fact remains that they seem to have the most house points at the end of the year. Every year. Is it because a certain old man seems to give 5000+ to the boy who lived every time he sneezes? Actually, that's exactly why. 10 points to Gryffindor for realizing that.

Mid Tier:
Ravenclaw - These geeks are only above Slytherin because realistically, they're going to be our bosses one day. Damn nerds.
Slytherin - Are they evil? Most likely. But if you need to smuggle 30 bottles of mead into Hogwarts to celebrate, these are the ones who are going to volunteer to help before you finish explaining why you need that much mead. Well, volunteer to help for a price anyway.

Lower Tier:
Hufflepuff - It takes a particular talent to be as odd as they are. They're nice, but the sorting hat needs to stop throwing all the weirdos into one house, they don't even have any real strengths to speak of.

Bottom Tier:
DKE - They say you can become a wizard if you're a virgin past the age of 40. Lucky for us, DKE is putting that legend to the test.