an open letter to fall pc '19

DON'T LOOK AT THIS SITE. I know it is tempting. I know you want to base your experiences off of something--just don't let it be off of the opinions of others. Seriously. Let me tell you my story.

I am in a "top" sorority. Definitely not bragging (especially since this post is anonymous...) I joined my sorority because of its popular reputation. I didn't want to feel "embarrassed" wearing my letters. I thought that it was the right move...I wanted a big sorority to hide the fact that I am uncomfortable with who I am and how I look. I thought I could hide behind the validation that being in a good sorority gave me. I couldn't.

I didn't feel any more like I belonged wearing my letters. If anything, I felt even more like I stuck out like a sore thumb. I told myself that people would look at me wearing my letters and laugh to themselves because of how much I look like I don't belong. I don't know if it was in my head or not, but it made me really upset.

I regret (HONEST TO GOD) not joining the lowest chapter--not going to name it because then people will say I'm a liar and call me out as a member of that lower sorority, so I'm going to be vague. I really loved that chapter as I was going through recruitment. Like, LOVED. They were all so nice and genuine and seemed so much happier. They were what I wanted in a sorority. I was convinced they were the ones--until I heard all of the girls talking about how bad this sorority was and how weird. I let that, and this DUMB website, make my decision for me.

Am I happy in the sorority that I'm in? Sometimes, but not really because I don't feel like I belong to be honest. I felt like I belonged at that other sorority, and I blew it. I honestly regret so much choosing the popular one over the one that felt like home to me.

It's just not worth it to pick the one you think others will appreciate more. Pick the one that makes you feel the best, the happiest. I can't help but feel my college career would have been so different if I had just listened to my heart...

:( emo vibes