traumatized
by: sadpnmtruly traumatized by this week. so many houses i loved and vibed with, and the houses i kept getting called back to were the houses i felt so uncomfortable going back to, which i kept trying to drop. Very unhappy, lots of tears. I had such high hopes of finding a sisterhood and instead i just got my heart broken. I don't think i'm pretty but when I walked out of the houses thinking WOW! and then they drop me, its completely heartbreaking. I don't know how this problem can be solved as there are so many girls going greek each year that houses don't have enough room for everyone but this problem needs to be fixed because i don't want any other girls to feel this sad and crushed like i do, would never wish this feeling upon anyone.
#1by: Cal
#2by: bear
Think of it like dating. You might go out with a guy, have a good time, good conversation, and he might be feeling like you're "the one", but that doesn't meant that you are feeling it and it doesn't mean that you are required to continue dating him. The houses know what they are looking for, and many times we may like a girl individually but down vote her because we know she would not gel with the house completely and that wouldn't be fair to the sisterhood or to her. Rejection is absolutely part of the process and houses should never be forced to take someone in that they aren't absolutely sure of, just as you should not be forced to date someone you aren't totally crazy about. It's tough, but rejection is a life lesson that you will face in many different forms. If everybody could get into their top house there would be no point for recruitment.
#3by: sorry
I am very sorry that you and every PNM that went through recruitment felt any pain, sorrow or hurt. Sadly this situation is not new but its gotten worse with the increase in people going through. I hope you join the system so that you can work to change it as with any system changing it from the inside is easier than from the outside. Suggest that you consider trying a house that wanted YOU and giving it a try. Stay through pledge and reevaluate before initiation. This will cost you some money and you might think its a risk but people that do this every year find a home and a group of like minded friends. Give it some thought as god knows this system needs people that have felt the pain to try and improve things as things are broken pure and simple. Sorry again, this totally sucks.
#4by: Hii
Thats just part of recruitment. Honestly its not even a bad part because its probably your first real exposure to rejection and learning how to deal with it is a good life lesson. In the future youre going to be rejected for a lot of things you really like or want (like jobs for example. you also probably arent going to get every job you interview for). That said I do suggest you check out the house you get a bid for because they wanted you in their sisterhood and thought youd be a good fit. Some houses take time grow on you and people end up loving their "last pick" when they give them a chance. If you drop before initiation you can rerush next year. I do recommend dusting yourself off and giving it an honest go. Your prospects probably wont be different next year and being greek is 100% better than being a gdi. Every house here is amazing and has something to offer. (Plus you get sisterhood, parties, and philanthropy in every house so ask yourself why you really wanted to be greek.)
#6by: What
I'm sorry, I'm an alum at a house that is constantly ranked last amongst PNM's and this makes me so mad. I am not going to assume it was one of the traditional "bottom houses" but the fact that you brought up your own looks makes me feel as though you liked the houses that were "pretty" and did not like the houses that were not."
"I felt uncomfortable there?" -Were the conversations just awkward or did someone do or say something to make you uncomfortable? If so, PLEASE talk to your RC and mention this. PNM's should NOT feel uncomfortable at any house. And if you are a person who is uncomfortable having awkward conversations, then trust me recruiting as an active sorority women is going to be CHALLENGING AS HELL for you.
"I had high hopes of finding a sisterhood" You didnt even stick with the process long enough to give it a chance? You may have met 10 women max at any chapter, which represents maybe 10% of the house. If you plan on joining a sorority and automatically having 100 new best friends then you are mistaken. No matter what house you join, you will only likely have 3-10 REALLY close friends within the chapter: women who actually feel like your sisters. The rest will be acquaintances or surface-level friends you will have the rest of your life, with shared memories. You can find this at any chapter. You just didnt give any chapter the chance so you could meet the rest of their sisters.
#8by: meg
Stay tuned for COB information. If you are still interested in greek life make an effort to meet people in different houses and you will find it makes a difference if you go through again. It was good this year as there was a large contingent of sophomores and even juniors.
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by: again
This post is probably responding to a greekrank bot, as this type of recruitment heartache is posted on every school's site this time of year, but here goes...
Newsflash to the OP: You are being chosen. You have volunteered to be chosen. Not all women are equally equipped to become chosen. NPC offers you twelve sorority groups at Cal, and Cal offers you one additional local sorority. You are allowed to play by recruitment rules and possibly receive a bid on Bid Day. Life never holds a guarantee for anyone.
Another news flash for the OP: The NPC uses RFM during formal recruitment to maximize the number of bids given by the system. Cal's sorority homes will and do have enough room for all women who, throughout formal recruitment, maximize their options and meet all requirements for sorority membership. Any growth in the number of women going through formal recruitment is met with more bids given out should those large numbers of women remain through pref and sign bid cards.
(The bot already knows all this, but it's worth mentioning again here.)