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last minute advice/tips

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As FFR starts today, any last tips/advice anyone can give?

Posted By: Pnm
Page 1 of 1
#1by:    
#1    

smile, be yourself, dress to impress, find the houses that YOU think you would be happiest in, don't try to follow your friends, don't get too hung up on a specific house because most people could easily be happy in a variety of houses (not even in the same tiers, which also don't really matter that much), and always rank ALL the houses to maximize your options :)
good luck ladies!

By: don't stress too much

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#2by:    
#2    

Remember that you are amazing, beautiful, smart, kind, and a wonderful human being. No matter what happens, do not let the opinion of other people who barely know you affect your self-confidence or self-esteem! Don't let anyone hurt your heart!

Go into recruitment with the mindset that you're going to meet a bunch of girls and if you like some of them and they like you, you'll join a sorority. If not, then maybe this wasn't the time and place for you to make new friends. Cal has literally hundreds of clubs and activities where you can meet people, but you have to take the initiative and check them out. Sororities are great, but they're not going to make or break you or your life. Try to keep your perspective -- in ten years, or even five, the house you pledge is not going to matter.

In figuring out where you fit best, think about the type of person you are. In high school, were you an athlete, artist, cheerleader, partier, fashionista, debater, bookworm, loyal friend, extravert, introvert, or ??? Each house has a mix of people, but some lean more one way than another. Look for a place where you can be you!

Keep your mind open and realize everyone is doing the best they can. The system is not perfect but seems to work most of the time. Go to all the parties you can, try to ignore every one else's opinions (especially the ones on here), and have fun.

You'll do great!

By: You'll do great!
#3by:    
#3    

this is great info

By: bump
#4by:    
#4    

These posts are solid and obviously you should try to be engaging, BUT you need to know there are other factors that simply are not in your control. If you don't get into a house you think you want, don't feel like you did something wrong. There were two times I thought I had great conversations at a house and the next day I didn't get invited back.

What I know now, though, is that some PNMs already know girls in houses. Maybe they were from the same high school or area, maybe they played sports together, or were Regents Scholars, maybe they were in the same dorm together. Those PNMs are going to have an advantage. Legacies and PNMs with recs may also have an advantage -- not a big one, but they might get invited back to an extra day. I've heard some houses drop PNMs in hard majors because they want to keep their GPAs high. There could be a million other reasons you'll never know. Maybe the sister you talked to doesn't have much pull in the house.

What you've already figured out is that these decisions, based on a super fast conversation in a loud room, are pretty superficial. You can do your best, but almost every PNM is going to get cut along the way, probably many times. When it happens, just say "whatever, their loss," look at the houses you've got left and put on a smile. This site likes to make it seem like all the houses are super different, but they're all pretty similar. Don't get your feelings hurt -- it's really not personal -- and keep going!

By: Factors You Can't Control
by: Factors You Can't Control   

Meant to post the above on How Do Sororities Pick!

By: Factors You Can't Control
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by: yes   

This post is absolutely pitch perfect! So well said on a super difficult topic such as rejection. Nobody goes through this process untouched by rejection. You are not alone. Do not blame yourself and keep on going. Last year was an eyeopener for me to watch for the first time as an active. What seemed to happen is that the round 1 and 2 cuts (which are fast and deep by design) seemed to throw people that probably had never experienced much rejection in their lives ever. These people dropped early and never gave themselves the opportunity to find a home and to investigate all the houses. We honestly have 12 great houses here at Cal and we are lucky in that the system is casual. I would never advocate joining a house where you don't feel comfortable but the reality for most people is that finding a close group of friends in any house is possible. Many people that dropped last year are coming through again this fall but they missed out on the first year which for most of us is the most fun! Do what feels comfortable to you but I suggest thinking hard about maximizing your options as you move through the week. Read the stories on the other thread of the many people that kept one house that was one of their top choices all week and were dropped by virtually every other house. These kinds of things happen and you just have to roll with the process as it can be a rollercoaster for sure!

By: yes
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#5by:    
#5    

bump

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