i am disappointed....

To yeapi, your 'guess' as to what was troubling me was spot on! After much soul searching I did drop and transferred to Stanford and won't affiliate. The big issue for me was sincere friendship in the house and tied into this issue were the important issues of integrity/honor/respect that seemed to be brought up and used in the house only when convenient. Overall I met a number of good people in the greek system but the fit of the house and the school simply wasn't right for me. I knew something wasn't right with Panhel after I saw how FFR was managed (or not). Panhel seemed inactive for a good portion of the year and communication quite poor. As it relates to the school though I was very disillusioned by the lack of tolerance amongst students and staffs at what was supposedly a 'liberal' institution and the ongoing rioting was something I felt detracted from what I wanted in a college experience. The lack of leadership from the Chancellor and President to manage what I felt was a deteriorating situation on our campus on the issue of free speech and tolerance along with student safety was something that I ultimately could not accept. I realize Stanford won't be better just different but for my major program, I know that academically I will be ok and I think the environment will be something I feel more comfortable with on a day to day basis.

The old 1-2-3-4 punches got to you, didn't they? Wrong campus for your major, wrong campus administration and staff, wrong panhellenic, and wrong chapter of your sorority.

Glad to know you will be amongst better people on the enclosed, private, more conservative campus at Stanford in Fall.

Unfortunately your sorority chapter at Stanford won't benefit from your wise life perspective, but your taking alum status and searching for interaction with mature women in your group can lead you to a more stable, improved, lifelong sisterhood experience.

To @nopi, I would like to clarify that I had no issues with my academic experience at Cal and that academics were not the primary driver of my decision to transfer. The program I am now enrolled in is not an option at Cal and I am grateful to have the option to transfer. The decision to transfer was very difficult as I enjoyed my classes, friends and general greek experience. I would also like to clarify that I believe there is a house at Cal for every PNM that stays open to the experience. I would have to say that of my available options at pref that I chose the best available option for me. But as I saw, not all things work out and I think this is part of the process too. Some people are able to stick things out with the hope that it will all work out in the end, but I'm not a big believer in this philosophy so I decided to take a risk and try something completely new. I have no illusions at all about my new school and realize that it will only be different and not necessarily better except in the ways that are important to me. This was a very personal choice which I wanted to share so that PNMs know that not everything works out and that this is ok and that rethinking a choice is nothing if not human. I also would like to clarify that I have no intention of activating as an alum or joining any other type alum organization and I mailed my pin back to headquarters via certified mail as I would like to put this entire chapter in the rear view mirror!

Do tell what upset u so much

Considering the house she initiated into, I don't expect anything more than the puzzle of sentences she's already posted. Suffice to say when you become an initiated sorority woman you too will learn of the vast network of association involved in making any sorority competitive and successful.

Sorry, meant what Nopi was referring to

I agree that the mentioned thread makes helpful reading. If the reader just takes away the idea that the first round cuts are hard and deep for the most popular houses then recruitment will be much less stressful all around I think. I keep thinking how things might have been different across our system if so many people with so much to offer didn't run for the hills when they were brutalized in the first two rounds? This past year I met so many wonderful and interesting people who said they dropped and all I could think about is what a HUGE loss for us all. The the PNMs going through recruitment this year please please please think long and hard about an early departure from the process. We have fantastic houses across our system and there is a house for everyone that wants to join one. It is so hard to see the forest from the trees amidst the chaos that is built into the recruitment process. Look at the bigger picture and think of the good friends you will meet and experiences you will have INSIDE the greek system rather than from the OUTSIDE.