recruitment 2022 must read

This is my recruitment story... I have never spoken out about my sorority experience and how I really felt about it. Now that I am a senior, looking back on how everything went down and played out I can not help but wonder if things had gone differently would I be happier? Would my four years at college have been what I had always wanted them to be? If sharing my story can wake just one girl up and stop her from making my mistake I feel like I have to share it.

I went through recruitment as a freshman and stalked every sorority before. I was obsessed with getting a top-tier sorority and living out what I thought would be my dream college life. I wanted fun new friends, I wanted to go to crazy parties, I wanted to be wanted by the guys and seen as cool, to make long-lasting memories and take the cutest pictures that would make all of my home friends wish they went to UM. I was friends with some girls on my floor and we all had our eyes set on the "top" sororities. We would have dropped for anything less. Even though I realized the middle tier and even some of the lower sororities weren't that bad during recruitment and some of my convos were good at those places I had a tunnel vision and only cared about my end goal. I made it to my top sorority by judging myself and trying to be someone I thought they would consider "good enough". Now looking back I don't know who that girl even was. The friends that made it to the "top" with me I slowly lost relationships with as they began finding their own way and getting pulled into the toxic environment that NO ONE warns you about once you get a bid at your "dream" "sisterhood". I have been bullied, suffered from an eating disorder, not invited places by people I considered friends, I have been talked about despite being nothing but nice, judged, made fun of, I have tried and tried to make real connections with these girls but I now see it is not possible to make real connections with fake people. For the first time in my entire life, I have experienced what depression is really like. I've spent so much money trying to keep up and all I can do is sit in my room and cry when I see girls in "middle" tiers who were able to just be happy and make real friends. I have NO ONE to call once I graduate that will still be my friend out of UM. Why? Because after we take pics together just to not actually enjoy going out and leave to go home early, they don't care about me. Not like real friends should. They wouldn't take care of me if I got messy drunk, they would whisper and laugh. If a frat boy did something to me I wouldn't have anyone to confide in because they would tell everyone and probably blame me. Trust me I have seen all of this actually happen to innocent girls that didn't deserve it. PLEASE DO NOT GO TO A "TOP" SORORITY JUST BECAUSE... it is not worth the loss of what could be an amazing 4 years. Recruitment can be a beautiful thing if you let it.