hater's guide to miami frats

Sig Ep. All those muscles but a certainty to lose in a fight. Nice kids, pull well but hilariously out of touch with normal people. Truly the country club of frats. That's not a compliment. It's even cooler when you take longer than your gf to get ready to go out.

Sigma Chi. Tell me more about how Jersey gets a bad rap. Cool dudes. Good chapter. Parties are actually mediocre af and the guys aren't that good looking

SAE. Kids that belong in the glee club. We get it, you're accepting, tolerant, progressive, and grades focused. But would it kill you guys to sack up once in your lives? This is supposed to be a college drinking club.

Pi Kapp. Yeah, you bros sure are dominant. Tell me more about how no one goes (tries) as hard as you. You're clearly number one. Errybody else clearly is just intimidated by your awesomeness or they too would wife up ZTAs and put pledges in alcoholic comas.

ZBT. This is almost too easy. Write your own jokes. Look like the world's lamest boy band.

Beta. Trying super hard to come in 2nd or 3rd in intermurals everyone else plays hungover or hammered will finally make people respect us.

Sammy: All 10 of them are definitely not future serial killers or anything (yes they are)

Phi Delt. Too irrelevant to hate on. In some ways the worst insult of all.

New Pike. You know you're cool when your "studs" got balled by 6 different chapters.

AEPI. Don't feel like being accused of a hate crime today. These guys are great.

Kap Sig. Been "on the rise" forever. Still in the basement. Proudly out of the closet.

Alpha Sig. Cornered the market on the Model UN bros

Lambda. The frat everyone else wants to be