deathly scared lol
by: pnm
Hey. So I'm a sophomore rushing this fall. I don't want to give a ton of information here so sorry if this sounds vague. I'm keeping an open mind and have a few houses in mind (the tier system is BS but I'll use it to keep this vague and sorta simpler, lol) mostly "middle tier" and "bottom tier" (again, this isn't how I see them personally, but hey). But the thing is, there's this one house in the bottom 5 that I've always been strongly drawn to, like almost at a weird superstitious sixth-sense level and I've always hoped to be a part of their sisterhood. It's very similar to how I felt about UF before I got in - not just "oh I like it because it looks cool and yay football" (compare to "looks pretty" and I guess "yay parties" haha) but more like I'm meant to be here kind of way, like "deep in my heart I know this is my home." The values and vibe mesh perfectly with me, too.
Again, I'm keeping an open mind, and can see myself in a few houses (just like how I saw myself potentially being at a few colleges!). But there's this gut feeling that's just... there. So I'm kind of anxious. It's also ironic in a way, because I feel like most stories like this are freshmen who hope for "top tier" houses and then are sad if they're cut from those, but mine's like the reverse - "mid/bottom" and "bottom" are actually my personal top tier.
So... any thoughts? Words of wisdom? Anyone else who had this same "gut feeling" like me?
#1by: pnm
Btw clarifying on "most stories like this" I meant PNMs who are scared of not getting asked back at certain houses/a specific house. Not the "gut feeling" part - I feel like I've never heard a story like that, lol.
Also clarifying, I personally chose to wait a year to rush so I could get adjusted to college first -- worked out great for me! But I've always had a gut feeling about that same house.
Commentby: pnm
I actually know people in the house and have even been there for meals before as a guest (outside of rush).
Also, I don't feel like I'd have to put on a fake persona for them to like me or anything
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by: S
OK that sounds a little less weird then. You made it sound like you had this fantasy built up about that house without really knowing anything about them.
Knowing and getting along with members and even being invited to the house are all good. It's good to have people pulling for you during deliberations, but don't hold it against the girls you know there if you're not asked back. They may do everything they can to promote you but there are a lot of other factors (that have nothing to do with you and are completely out of your control.) Just because a house isn't at the top doesn't mean it isn't competitive to get invites back.
Do keep an open mind about everyone. Don't let your idealized feelings for that one house cloud your judgement or your view of everyone else. None of our sororities are perfect, and there isn't such a thing as only one being perfect for you. Good luck!
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by: S
PS Don't forget to tell the members of this house that you really like them (in a non creepy stalker way) during recruitment. A lot of times PNMs don't really verbalize this enough and we don't quite get how interested they are. That's something that can work against you. Be enthusiastic and ask questions, even when you're talking to your friends there who you think should know how much you want them.
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#3by: hmmm
I do agree with @S. Don't have your heart set on one house, you really need to be open to every single house, because you never know what will happen. But it is okay to have a few favorites and I understand that this gut feeling is real. You'll just have to wait and see if that house is really where you're meant to be.
But I wouldn't be too worried while going through recruitment because the actives you talk to will be able to tell if you're really nervous. All you can do is be 100% prepared before recruitment and then be confident and be yourself! You will end up where you're supposed to. You could end up there and be happy as ever, or you could end up in a different house and still be happy as ever. You just never know where you'll end up. Good luck to you! :)
#4by: Pc14 sophomore
Its hard as a sophomore, because its so easy to have preconceived notions in your head. You have a year to find out as much as you can about each one, rather than freshman who just get the summer. i had a few favorites picked out from each tier, and its totally okay to do that, as long as you're open minded with all the other houses! I actually ended up chosing a house that wasn't on my original list of favorites going into rush! Its totally okay as long as you don't get bummed when a favorite drops you, or if you decide that one you thought was the right one isnt really a good fit, or if you decide that one you hadnt originally thought of is now one of your favorite. Just allow you list of your "top" houses to be flexible, and allow them to change based on how you feel during rush, and you'll end up where you're meant to go!
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by: To Pnm
I actually went into rush having this mindset that I wanted to join a certain house and I ended up trying to hard to get them to like me and when I left I realized I wasn't really being myself. And I'm glad I didn't end up there now, I'm in the perfect house for me and I was myself and very comfortable there during rush and it worked out for the best.
You might get really disappointed if you get your schedule and see your favorite house cut you, but why would you want to be in a sorority that doesn't think you fit in with them in the first place, you know? Just trust the system, it all works out for the best I promise :)
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