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engaged/married

by:    

Hi! So I wanted to rush in the fall I'm a junior and my fiancé and I got engaged about 6 months ago and we decided to get married and not tell anyone until we have our actual wedding. Does that hurt my chances of getting a bid, and do I have to say that I'm married... since nobody knows. Thanks!

Posted By: futurn pnm
Page 1 of 2
#1by:    
#1    

What will hurt your chances is that you'll be a senior when you rush. Seniors don't get bids.

By: Um
by: Future pnm   

I'll be a junior when I rush. I'm currently a sophomore

By: Future pnm
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#2by:    
#2    

So you want to start your lifetime of sisterhood with a lie? You won't be able to keep it a secret. I think some sororities may even have rules against married sisters.

Sororities require a big time commitment. Why would you want to take away your limited time with your husband? How's he going to feel when you have to leave him for a mandatory event with a fraternity?

Oh wait. You'll be a junior. It's not like you'd get a bid anyway.

By: WTF
#3by:    
#3    

My sorority gives bids to juniors. As do other top tier houses. There's are lots of girls who don't even transfer to UF until their junior year, so obviously these girls want to rush as well. Normally it's not many, but most houses do give bids to upperclassmen. Zeta even have a bid to a senior this year!
That being said, there are many sorority events that require you to be out with fraternity men. I am in a serious relationship with a man outside of greek life, and it makes things very difficult. I'm sure it would be even more so if you're married. But there are also tons of benefits of greek life that you can enjoy while being considerate of your husband!

By: Serious
by: Future pnm   

I appreciate you being entirely honest! I did think the same thing, but he is supportive of it since he knows it is something I've always wanted to do, and we are still young! At the end of the day it's all about trust. :)

By: Future pnm
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by: M   

My sorority sometimes gives bids to juniors but it's always people we already know who have friends in our house, not to random juniors. I honestly would not get my hopes too high.

By: M
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by: yep   

This is a very accurate post. Juniors often get bids. I would bring it up when talking to the girls. It will make you stand out!

By: yep
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#4by:    
#4    

uh…you are engaged? Why do you want to be in a sorority at this point of your life? No, no one will want you.

By: move on
#5by:    
#5    

If greek life is something you want to do then go for it. Don't worry about anything other than that. I would however be honest about the fact that you are married.

By: Trying

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#6by:    
#6    

sure it will be harder to be married and in a sorority.. and of course you'll never live in house, but there are girls that are 1)engaged, 2)married, and 3)in serious relationships in many if not all of the chapters- probably especially in more of the conservative chapters. of course you will be a minority, but if you want to be in a sorority, being married shoudnt hurt you. age is probably more of a negative factor, but again, houses take girls of all ages as well! good luck!

By: okay
by: noooo   

Serious relationships, yes, but the vast majority of houses have national rules that move you to an "alumni" if you get married sooo they wouldn't take you. And although personally it wouldn't really affect things, hiding an engagement would make me seriously doubt your character... Why the hell are you engaged as a sophomore? That's very much a socially awkward high school move unless he's like in the military... even still.

By: noooo
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#7by:    
#7    

You actually can't join a sorority while married- in fact if a member gets married, she is given alum statua

By: Mum
by: well   

this depends on the sorority. it may be true for some but is not true for all.

By: well
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#8by:    
#8    

not entirely true. one of my sorority sisters' just got married, and she is definitely not on alumna status

By: ^ not true
#9by:    
#9    

If you really want to rush, i would say go for it. BUT plz remember that a sorority is a commitment and will take time esp. as a new member (after you receive a bid). As far as being married, you're not required to talk about this during recruitment but girls in the houses do research their PNMs---> you WILL be stalk on all types of social media so there's a huge chance they will find out or see that you are in a serious committed relationship. If you do rush, usually boys are off limits to talk about anyways.

By: Tryna help
by: um   

who cares if someone is in a committed relationship? how can that be seen as a bad thing?

By: um
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#10by:    
#10    

I would say keep your options very open as you'll be lucky to get a bid from any house at all.

Your chances would be better if you did spring/informal rush this year as a sophomore...if that is still happening.

If you don't get a bid from informal and formal and a sorority colonizes while you're still on campus, you should go for that one.

Better hope houses that don't have anything against married girls will like you.

By: hi

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