re: sorority rushing
by: Concerned parent
As a parent with a daughter who wants to participate in Fall Rush, I find myself in disbelief to what I read and what I see. 1st - I sit and wonder how a Sorority can possibly judge 1700 girls based on a 5-10 minute superficial conversation?
2nd - Is my daughter being judged only by her looks and what she is wearing at the time? How does a Sorority truly know if she would be a good fit or not based upon 2 or 3 conversations?
3rd - I sit and read all the reviews and can't belief how Sororities are being reviewed and tiers determines more by the attractiveness of the latest Pledge class vs. community service - things that truly matter. Since when does rushing become a Miss USA contest?
4th - I sit and read the reviews as one Sorority bashes another. I thought this was College and not High School?
My daughter is beautiful on the inside and out and I truly do not want this for her. I will support her only because it is what she wants.
For the record, I am not the only parent extremely disillusioned by the entire UF Sorority Rushing process.
#51by: One thing
There might be more supposed prestige saying you are a member of XYZ (Harvard), rather than ABC(UNF) but you would still have a sisterhood, a house with meals provided, homecoming, dance marathon, formal, socials with fraternities.
Being an XYZ at one school doesn't inspire the same amount of awe at all colleges. Sororities vary from college to college. And it matters even less if you move to a different part of the country after graduation. And as much as I value my sorority membership, I have friends who were independents who have never felt they missed out by not being Greek . They got involved other ways.
#52by: One thing
So glad to hear that your daughter had such a great attitude and didn't let a bump in the road prevent her from finding a sorority home. Kudos to your chapter for realizing your daughter would shine brighter somewhere else, and kudos to you for moving past your disappointment. Sounds like you raised your daughter right!
#53by: ...
If you are a parent and you are concerned about your daughter getting into a top tier house or a popular house, rather than a house where she feels at home and loved and accepted, you need to reevaluate your priorities. Tiers aren't that drastic anymore, and there are beautiful, talented, smart girls in all of the houses.
#54by: UF Mom
I totally agree with the last mom. Rush is not good for any freshman girls thinking that joining a sorority is their way into making friends and a great social life like their parents when they were in college. It has changed into a social media thing. Legacies dont matter. References do not matter. They are not really looking for anyone genuine because they dont have time to find out. I wish I knew how much it had changed before I told my daughter how great it is. With over 1100girls going through rush--- how can anyone stand out.
#55by: UF Mom
Everything I am hearing makes me sick. My daughter is an amazing girl and rush at UF did not help her self esteem. So many girls were so upset- i do not recommend rushing as a freshman. Get to know some girls at a sorority u fit in with and try to join in spring or as a sophomore.
#57by: I don't think mom's get i
There is no maximum number of spaces during rush. A university only expands the number of sororities on a given campus to reduce quota/house total. UF is open to expansion because there are a larger number of women rushing, which has made pledge classes and house total much larger than they have been historically. It is not to increase the "spaces" available, as that doesn't change. The "spaces" available are determined by the number of women who attend prefer parties, sign bid cards, and the number of chapters. If a woman goes to a preference party and maximizes her options on her bid card, she WILL RECEIVE A BID.
If someone is unhappy with the options they have and withdraws from rush, that is on them. They chose NOT sorority over a sorority. Panhellenic is interested in all the sororities on campus succeeding, and rush is designed to do that. Top tier chapters have fewer invites to the later round parties than the bottom tier chapters. You need to understand that women dropping out because they don't like a lower tier chapter are doing exactly to these sorority members what some of these mothers are saying the top tiers are doing to their daughters, making them feel unwanted and less than.
RFM, look it up if you don't know what it is, maximizes the success of the Greek system, as well as the pnms. I believe only 89 women were cut entirely from rush. The others who went bid less chose to.
#58by: Change
#60by: InsideAndOut
Hi all,
As a memeber of the Panhellenic community here at UF I would just like to say that it is a very hard and stressful process. I went through rush twice, dropping my first year after and trying again before I found a place where I belong.
When I first went through rush I was shell shocked. All of my online research and getting reccomendations and asking other sorority women that I knew for advice didn’t prepare me for the whirlwind I encountered of smiles and conversations. I even spilled my water at one of the houses and was mortified.
It took until my second try to find that the best way to rush was to try and highlight myself and my values to each of the women I spoke with, but that doesn’t always come through of you just don’t have a great connection with the girl who rushes you, even if you feel it’s the house for you.
I’m not a Barbie doll, in fact I’m pretty chubby, but I found a house that values who I am, that matches my own, and that can help me excel in my endeavors. If your daughters don’t end up in their first choice my advice is to tell them to stick it through, that’s the house that saw what an amazing girl she is. If your daughters don’t end up in a house at all, my advice is to encourage them to seek out other options or to rush again next fall.
Hope this helps some of you feel a little better!
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by: well
did your daughter drop out or get cut?
if she's looking for a sisterhood she should look into being a founding member of gamma phi beta.
their process is going to be a bit different and they will have national representatives choosing so they will definitely be looking for genuine girls.
if your daughter dropped out because she thought she was too good for certain houses, shame on her and shame on you.