re: sorority rushing

Legacy status means nothing. My sorority printed an article in our alumnae magazine which said that they would give greater consideration to a legacy but that was not the case for my daughter. We gave great consideration to legacies many years ago....definitely not so now. I don't think the girls even care about legacies. They will care someday when it is their daughter!!

That is true but at other SEC schools in smaller states it is the only thing that matters so you are screwed coming out of the gate. At least UF looks at the individual.

I disagree...it is looks.

Everyone is of course entitled to have their own opinion regarding the process, and right now (a time in which tensions are highest) this is a very understandable and popular reaction. However, please consider the potential disservice you are doing the girls who are offered membership come bid day. It is just as unfair to insinuate a girl only got into her sisterhood because she is pretty as it is to say the only reason a girl got cut is because she isn't. There is a reason sororities request "recs" (basically a girl's resume) previous to recruitment. Houses care a great deal about the quality of woman they are rushing and what they can contribute to their chapter in regards to leadership, sisterhood, and teamwork. Right now it's easy to criticize the process and write it off as being all based on looks, but UF's many upstanding sisters deserve a great deal more credit than that.

Understandable...I believe many of the girls being cut early on had a rec. I know my daughter had recs to nearly every house as she spent a great deal of time seeking those recommendations. She is pretty (but not model looks), has a great resume (as do many girls), converses easily with others and was cut by almost all of the houses after round 1. She was a legacy at 2 houses (mom and grandmother). Neither of the legacy houses gave her any additional consideration (I know that does not always happen). I know you are trying hard to defend the sisters but it really seems like looks plays a MAJOR part in this process. She was cut by everyone in the end.

You are so right. The sororities can tell us it is all about involvement, etc. but there is no way that they can decide who will be best asset to chapter in 5-10 minutes. Looks and looks only.

Hi Not Sure! This is definitely a reasonable thing to be confused about! First, the number of girls going through recruitment does not affect the "severity of cuts" contrary to rumor. Each chapter is assigned a proportion of PNMs they may invite, so in a year with 1000 PNMs, a chapter may need to release 500 and invite 500, and in a year with 1700, they need to release 850 and invite 850. The final new member class size ("quota") goes up or down based on how many women stick it out til the end (essentially the number of women divided by 16). So don't let the number of women rushing influence your daughter's choice, because invitation numbers are a proportion, not a hard cap.

On the issue w Rd 1, the unfortunate reality is that if a sorority has 200 women and each knows 2-3 PNMs going through recruitment, plus about 100 legacies, that could be their entire allotment of Rd 1 invites there, so those factors are no guarantee. Many chapters have to release women they truly do like a lot!

I suggest she stick it out through prefs. At the end of the day, we each only get one bid and find one home, so if a house still is inviting her she should give them a chance to win her over! She should allow herself to briefly be sad about the cuts of course, but then focus on the houses that are offering her an opportunity for sisterhood.

Your daughter is getting her 4 "unwanted" houses because other houses did not really want her. So as they cut her the houses your daughter lists on the bottom come back up. On Tuesday she will find out if any houses want her back from pref. If so, she will go to those houses. She needs to be open minded about all of the 7 houses. On Tuesday if she has any houses to go back to she will put her top three in order. If she matches she will get a bid.

PNMs are never technically "cutting" any chapters. They are merely ranking them. If she is getting scheduled to parties with chapters that were at the bottom of her rankings it is because chapters at the top of her list released her.

And just to keep in mind, those chapters she may not want right now may be her only options at the end. The chapter I joined was one I did not love until closer to Round 3. After round one, they were one of my least favorites because they girl I met there didn't click with me. I put them at the bottom of my list. Nonetheless, I was released from a few of my "top choices" and so I wound up having to go back. I'm glad I did, as meeting more women there opened my eyes and by pref night I was in love. The chapters that keep inviting your daughter back are under no obligation to do so, and obviously see her as a potentially good fit. She should be honored by their invitation.

Sorority girl, thank you for the info. I did not use the term "unwanted". My daughter made no connection at certain houses whether it was an awkward interview, the individual conducting the interview, etc... This process has been unpleasant and miserable at best. My only concern is my daughter's happiness and that is for her to determine. I am here to support her regardless.

There are bad eggs in every situation. For every handful of thoughtful and sympathetic sorority replies there is likely to be one or two insensitive and immature ones as well. Just as for every truly concerned and curious parent there is likely to be one or two bitter and irate ones as well. Neither can accurately judge the other based on a few unflattering or closed minded contributors. The intensity surrounding recruitment is almost always greater than people expect, but let me assure you every college with a moderate to large greek life shares the same if not MUCH more intense process. Take a moment to consider schools such as UGA, Bama, UT, and Ole Miss. UF's recruitment pales in comparison to the grueling selection process that these neighboring schools are known for. I strongly suggest UF take the route of increasing its number of sororities rather than forcing change upon the ones that have contributed to its campus for over half a century.

Well stated Alumni Mom! I hope that the Panhellenic Council does take note of all the issues and concerns surrounding the UF rushing process. I have read this thread as well as the other questions posed by PNM's. I was also shocked by the rude responses of other sorority girls. I don't think the girl asking about the associated fee's should have been berated for simply inquiring. Girls-please note that I am not stereotyping or assuming these comments apply to all of the sororities. I know there are exceptions. However, it would be nice to see someone being honest regarding the rushing process instead of receiving the politically correct verbiage. I am trying to provide support and comfort to my daughter as well as to her friends. Each one of them brings amazing attributes to the table and would only enhance the well being of any sorority. They are all pretty but no, not models. Please don't insult my intelligence and tell me that physical appearance or perhaps a family monetary donation hasn't distorted the scales of impartial truth verses biased façade. What was supposed to be the best week of their new life has become a nightmare. Now I sit and try to pick up the pieces from across the country. Now I try to reassure my daughter that she is amazing and it's your loss and not hers. Now I try to assure her that she's still that beautiful and amazing girl who deserves nothing less than the best. It's quite the feat given the degrading rushing process she experienced this week.