be grateful
by: SophI don't know what it's like on the inside, but after rushing and being dropped from all chapters three times, I can say that this process sucks away any sort of confidence girls have. I am judged based on a timed conversation, a list of activities I've done, and a picture of myself. Maybe it WAS me, maybe I was the problem. But I can't express how awful this feels. Anyone who got a bid from a sorority, even if it wasn't your top choice, you should be so damn grateful. Because there are girls like me who wanted so badly to be in a sisterhood, so much that I've rushed three times, but are told to try again next time because they didn't quite make the cut.
#1by: No
Comment#2by: Fraternity guy
I'm sorry that you feel this way, I think every girl should get bids! That's why I like the way frats do rush. You pick who you want to meet so you have more time to get to know them. Guys just need to be liked by the brothers while girls need to "fit in" with the sisters.
You can be the greatest girl ever but if you're average looks wise, that'll limit the houses that want you. Several fraternities have guys of all different backgrounds and level of attractiveness. Sororities should realize that looks don't define a person!
by: Wait what
Exactly my point! If a sorority takes a girl who is average looking or (God forbid) not attractive, but is an incredible friend and student, the sorority still gets judged harshly. Frats won't social with them if they aren't hot.
My frustration with your original statement is that men have enormous influence in perpetuating sorority reputations and stereotypes; yet they can then turn around and say that girls are too wrapped up in appearances, and guys don't care about that stuff as much.
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by: Fraternity guy
It's the same with sororities. If the guys aren't hot sororities won social with them either. How often do Alpha Phi, ADPi or DZ social with "bottom tier fraternities"? Never. Those girls will never social with AEPi or Delta Chi.
People are the problem, if no one cared about looks the world would be a better place.
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by: good point
I think the take home message that frat guy is trying to say is that frats choose based on who they want as brothers and not who will social with them
just something to digest
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by: Stfu
Do you think that's not crystal clear? She's making the point that when women do the same thing they get destroyed for it.
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#3by: Reject
As a girl who has rushed twice and had also been rejected by every sorority I've been to, it's nice to see I'm not the only one who feels this way. Unfortately, we go to a school that's so focused on Greek life that it's incredibly hard to feel like you fit in if you're not involved in a sorority of fraternity. On top of that, I really only have friends who are involved in Greek life, so it really makes me feel like I don't belong here. I'm not exactly sure what I keep doing wrong and why the girls don't like me despite the fact that we have great conversations.
Congrats to all the girls who are in/got into sororities. Your life is/is gonna be so much better now because of this. I just wish I could join them.
by: No bid:(
This is such a confidence killer. Still trying to figure out where I went wrong. I have good grades, looked good and dressed appropriately for all events, and really thought I had made a connection to at least one house. I feel like a failure and it's an icky feeling.
Congrats to those girls that received bids. I wish I was one of you.
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by: Wait what
You probably did everything right. It sucks to have a limited number of spots, and 3 or 4 times as many girls that could fit in with us really well.
I promise you that if you got invited to a preference round you could have been invited to join. The reasons people get picked for different classes are so varied--you can't take it personally.
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by: No bid:(
#4by: To the ladies
Coming from someone on the inside, I apologize. It's a lot harder in the spring and my chapter was only allowed to take 5 members, a number given to us by PANHEL. If it were up to us, we would have taken everyone. In the fall we are allowed to take more and even then we wish we could give out more bids..
#5by: :(
I understand completely! I even knew someone in the 2 sororities I looked into! But at both sororities the recruiters that I talked to honestly had the attitude that they had no care to be there and they had no interest in me whatso ever and I find that extremely unfair. The sororities need to have girls out there that want to get more people to join, not girls who don't care and are turning people away. I've laid in bed all day crying because of how devastated I was that I didn't get a bid. It's absolutely heartbreaking and this whole process has hurt me more than I was hurting before. I felt confident going in but now I'm looking into transferring schools because I'm hurt and embarrassed. I wish I never went through recruitment.
by: :(
I don't understand why just because I had a bad recruiter my chances were ruined. It's not fair because I know if I had a better recruiter I actually would have had a chance. She already hated me before I even got there.
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by: ^^^
I remember going no through recruitment and only one or two houses had me talking to more than one sister, so having one bad conversation can 100% kill your chances which honestly sucks if you've been talking to the same girl for 45 mins. At that point tho they just care about your looks if they don't have you talk to as many sisters as possible
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#6by: Exactly
Coming from a recruiter, you may or may not get along and that happens! Sometimes theres a girl or two who didn't get along with a PNM but then another sister had a great conversation. Unfortunatey if more than one person didn't have a great conversation it can burn you. Also Spring is extremely selective so if someone is deemed "average" or "okay" against someone who everyone who talked to her loved her, you can see who will get further. It's just how the process works :/
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by: Fraternity guy
I never said they choose members based on looks alone, I said it plays a big part. A top sorority will not take a girl who is a 3 if she is a 10 in personality. Fraternities don't really care about looks for the most part.
I'm sure 99% of sorority girls are nice young women, I'm sorry if my statement was worded poorly. But why should a girl who's got the grades and personality be denied a bid because she's not "attractive" enough?
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