help
by: UnsurePretty soon I will have to pay to be in the sorority I got a bid from and while that was never an issue I am unsure if this is a right fit for me. I don't want to pay to continue trying it out when I haven't hung out with any of these girls outside of sorority events. It's not like they're unwelcoming and expect to form bonds with them right away, but I just don't see them making an effort and being new and not knowing many girls it's hard for me to make an effort because I don't want to come across as someone trying to hard but I don't see this working. I mainly did this to make knew friends and I don't know a lot about ANY of the girls and when we have events to get to know each other better I was left out because all the initiated girls went to talk to other initiated members and I was just left to talk to another new member so it was fine but I thought the whole point was to get to know them better. I just already feel left out and maybe I am to blame because I couldn't keep conversations going with the girls, but if I can't do that then how are we supposed to be 'sisters'. My friend got into another sorority and she already seems to have great relationships with all of the girls so I'm basing my situation a little bit off hers. But I don't want to pay and keep trying this and only to feel left out. I don't know how to make an effort. Does/did anyone else feel this way or is it just me? I don't want to come off as complaining, I really think it's just me.
#1by: OSU
Honestly try hanging around the house more, like during chapter dinner or if they offer Friday brunch. Or just study or hang out there. If you were assigned an initiated member as a sort of surrogate big, try to see if they'd be up to doing something with you, or talk to them about how you're feeling. But most importantly, try to make connections with the girls in your pledge class, i.e. the other new members. It's these girls that are going to become your closest friends for the most part and are going to shape your sorority experience the most.
Commentby: ^^
#2by: try try try
It is overwhelming and some adjust faster than others. You can't expect to fit in right away and be besties with everyone. If you have a defeatist attitude you aren't going make friends.
It can be expensive and if you don't have the support of your parents and your already on the fence, it has to compound all the feelings your having.
Instead of thinking you have to make friends with everyone, try to focus on one or two pledges and one or two actives. You sound a little social challenged, look for girls who are similar to you, make yourself find a go to person. Once you find someone who you can conncect with, then like the above post suggested go to the house with them have lunch study or just hang out. . And talk to the treasurer maybe sure can give you some more time before you have to pay.
The more involved you are the more you'll make connections with the girls and bond. So make yourself shake the negative vibes, (maybe that's another reason why you're not connecting others can sense it) and give it a week or two of extra effort. good luck
by: wants
but if she wants to be in one, she needs to become close with the other members
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by: Butthurt detected
#5by: toughen up
Don't quit, that's the easy way out, suck it up and pay the dues. Yes people say you're paying for friends, but until you get the full experience you'll understand why it's the best money ever spent!
Belong to a sorority is very individual and what you walk away with what you put into it. So if you are think that you're paying for friends, yes you need to drop out and be a quitter. For the rest of your life you'll always wonder what if I stuck it out. What if I gave it my all.
Right now most pledges don't feel like their wanted, it's up to you to change that and go meet the girls in your house.
Find someone in your dorm or close to it and make an effort to go to the house together, be involved and it will change your life.
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by: buts
spend more time around the house, talk to the girls.
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