alpha phi you suck

Alpha Phi,
You epitomize everything bad about greek life. As a fellow greek, I am embarrassed. You praise "being yourself" and wow cool you have a girl who plays violin and a girl who cheerleads in your recruitment video, but you couldn't be faker if you tried.

Rather than caring about your sisters, having fun, developing as people, doing philanthropy, service, etc. all you care about is how everyone else sees you. You are selfish, superficial, shallow, and you disgust us.

If you put more care into sisterhood than you did your variety show that you bought, maybe people would like you more.

Oh and by the way, even if no one knew about your tour bus until lit happened, no one would think it was cool. We all just think you try too hard and waste too much money on this stuff.