a letter to pnms

For the most part I try to keep my mouth shut on this website. I’m a new alum of a UO sorority, having just graduated this past June. Are there better things I should be doing than reading this website? Yeah, but we’ll put that aside for a minute. Before I went through recruitment I was like all of you PNMs, I stalked this website because I couldn’t wait for recruitment to start and I knew next to nothing about UO Greek Life. When I got to recruitment I thought I was so prepared because I knew what the perceived “tiers” were and all the silly rumors on campus. I felt like reading up on the recommendations of anonymous posters who had never met me about which houses I should be trying to pledge would help me make the “right” decision. I, like you who now believe the same, was a ducking idiot.
People tell PNMs to get off of this website at least 4 times a day, great advice, but since you’re still reading, here the things I wish someone had told me:

-“Tiers” aren’t set in stone. Things can, and do, change. Positive change comes when a group of women decides that they’re willing to put the work in. Negative change comes when a group gets complacent and stops putting the work in. It is that simple. One pledge class can change everything, for better or worse.
-Come recruitment you will be welcomed into 10 beautiful homes. Complete strangers are going to take an interest in you and go out of their way to make this a positive experience. So show some manners. If you feel like a chapter isn’t the right fit for you that is fine, but that doesn’t mean that you should try to get dropped by being rude to your rusher. In the end Oregon is a small campus and burning bridges your first week is a bad choice.
-Keep an open mind. What you see depends mostly on what you’re looking for.
-Get really really good at small talk. The PNMs that know how to move seamlessly from talking about their hometown or what dorm they’re in to a fun and interesting story about themselves are the ones that rushers remember. Treat every exchange with cashiers, neighbors, etc. from now to October as recruitment practice and you’ll be in great shape.
- You get one shot at a first impression and your appearance is definitely a factor in that. That doesn’t mean you’re being graded on your bone structure, but take the time to put a hot tool to your hair, do your makeup, and choose outfits that flatter your body type. You wouldn’t show up to a job interview looking like you just rolled out of bed, and recruitment is exactly the same.
-There is always the possibility that you’ll get dropped from a chapter you love. Treat like a guy: if they don’t want you then don’t waste your time crying over it. Go find another chapter to fall in love with. Positivity goes a long way in recruitment.
- Make. Your. Own. Decision. You live with it. YOU. Not your parents, not the girls in your rush group, not anyone else. You’re 18, you should be able to make this decision by yourself. Have some faith in your convictions otherwise college is going to be a rude awakening.
-Every chapter has formals, intramurals, pinnings, big-little, networking opportunities, a philanthropy, and leadership opportunities. The only thing that defines one experience from another is the people you share it with. When you find the girls you can see yourself sitting next to on a couch, sharing ice cream with in your PJs after the worst day of your life then you’ve probably found your home.
-College ends, your sorority membership doesn’t. I moved to the other side of the country for work this summer and am now involved with a local alumnae panhellenic. People ask me if my chapter had any unique traditions, how big it was, or if I held any leadership positions. No one asks what “tier” we were because no one cares.

You should be excited for recruitment. It is the door to amazing opportunities and friendships that can last a lifetime. Decide what you want out of your membership and go find a chapter that can make it happen. Each of our sororities is home to outstanding women and you’ll be lucky to join any of them.