I’ve never felt “at home”

I’m graduating this spring and thought by this time my chapter would be the place for me and I’d have friends and memories to last a life time. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’m very academically inclined and perhaps a bit awkward but I try my best. My sorority does not hold the same values or standards as I do, and i frequently feel outcasted or punished for it. I ran home to the girl who would later be my big, and if it weren’t for being assigned to the same group pre-initiation I don’t know that she would have ever talked to me. We had reveal, and that was it. She never reached out, never invited me, was never really my friend. I spent a lot of nights freshman year crying over the loss of a “friendship” I never had just because it was supposed to be my gateway.
They all told me it was because I didn’t put enough effort in and “you get out what you put in.” I’ve had 3 leadership positions and am currently on the Officer Board of my chapter. Even in small groups I’m ignored or worse outright belittled at times. I’ve put my heart and soul into trying to fit in and be invovled. Yet I am so alone in it. At this point I can’t help but wonder if it’s just because I might be too different than them. Our president told me to try watering myself down a little more. I don’t know if that’s right, 3 years in do I really have to pretend to be someone I’m not?
I know they might want me to drop or stop participating, but I feel like I need to stick it out. Does anyone know what I should do? The anxiety of having to go back in the fall and deal with it again is making me sick.