sorority comments

hey, i'm not one of the two (or more) girls arguing on here. in fact, i'm not greek. but please... stop. fighting fire with fire doesn't make things any better. unless, well, it's an oil-well fire. then you fight it with dynamite.

you won't text me. that's right. you think you're better than me so you refuse to give me your number even though we were (most likely) part of the same sorority. well, then, text me from a google voice number. come on, i dare you.

i just wanted to express how much i love texts from last night. unfortunately, because i have no friends... i can only read the website obsessively. in fact, i read it every second of the day, more than i get on greek rank. since i have no friends to share this oh-so-hilarious text with, let me just share here:

(412) Alive... but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect.

funny. HA HA HA HAAHAHAHAHAHA. when i read it, i was just like dying. like omfg. thats the funniest thing i've ever read... i'm just ROTFL. lylas!

(931) How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the chair wearing the sombrero bl()w you.

(724) you know you made out with my sister while holding your girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

DEAR PROSPECTIVE FRESHMEN, if... for whatever reason... you believe you've had an absolutely unbearable childhood and want to have an enjoyable college experience, do NOT pursue higher education anywhere within a 3-hour radius of your hometown. if you are from the cincinnati area per say and have any plans of reinventing your high school self, do NOT come to miami. it's like high school squared. really. it is. these have seriously been the WORST four years of my life. maybe someday my life will get better. maybe someday i will wake up, be more physically attractive, rich and charismatic. as for now, one can only hope...

if you were kind of weird back in high school and there is no one from your graduating class coming here... by all means, attend miami. it's great. you'll get to make fun of the people who had like 309284903 people from their high school graduating class come to miami, inflate rumors to the max and... yeah, on top of that you'll lose your weirdness at another's expense.

maybe i can be a popular girl in... i don't know, a country club someday. or the old lady in the old ladies with purple clothes and red hats club (or whatever it's called). but i don't want to be the weird old lady, that would be bad. and i don't want to be the old lady with 7 cats, either. that would be even worse. after college, i don't really know where else there is to be popular. there's the office i guess... i don't know, i guess there's somewhere.oh, and expect to see me at a high school reunion.......never. XoXo

First of all, it's impossible for 309284903 people to come here. also, it's called the "red hat society." HA.