I cannot take credit for this

There is a very long post further down that has great advice. This is the highlight:

Otherwise, you just have to understand that rejection is redirection. Each house has a profile of girl that they want based on their values and personality.

It’s not a matter of being “top” or “bottom”. It’s not a matter of attractiveness. Some of the most gorgeous girls in Miami Greek life are in sororities that are nowhere near the top. It’s a matter of fit. Honestly sometimes my comment is “I love her but she will not be happy here.”