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Sorority rush reaching out prior

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I don’t know if this is common but a day or two before rush began I got a message from a girl in one of the sororities telling me she saw that I was going through recruitment and she wanted to say hi and for me to ask any questions about rush or just in general if I had any and that she would answer them. This sorority cut me after the video round didn’t even bring me to philanthropy to meet me or anything. I posted a photo on bid day of where I ended up and she liked it and then unfollowed me. I just think it’s super weird. Also the video round is stupid and should be change.

Posted By: Haha
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#1by:    
#1    

Nationals need to be notified of these practices!
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By: Nationals
by: Real Truth   

Nationals already knows of these practices because Nationals is part of the National Panhellenic Conference who came up with the practices. All 26 member groups agreed to the changes.

By: Real Truth
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#2by:    
#2    

A similar thing happened to me as well

By: Hello
#3by:    
#3    

I went to a SEC school— sorry I’m a stalker, but I’ll tell you the scoop on this. Every sorority has a matching committee, also known as basement girls, whose job is to stalk PNMS. The second you register for recruitment your information is put into a spreadsheet that is distributed to the sororities. They spend all summer tracking down information about the girls on this list— the goal is to get a picture of them for slideshows so actives can memorize them, or to find your social media/Instagram so they can figure out what girls to match you with. If you have a private insta, my sorority assigned like a dozen girls with a large following on IG to slowly request the private accounts for PNMS over the summer. Then, they unfollow them before recruitment starts. It’s kind of a loophole in the system and a sketchy practice but I just tell you this to let you know that it’s not personal. Get used to it, because future employers can do the same thing lol.

By: pc19
#4by:    
#4    

Very interesting. Thanks for these details.

By: GA OG
#5by:    
#5    

What’s the point of a 2 day sisterhood round when many PNM’s only had 3 houses to visit?? You had PNM’s sitting for HOUR between parties!! Open house is the 2-day round. Get your act together Clemson Panhel. Judging women on videos is a very very bad look and not letting all the PNMs see all the houses is absurd. That’s the whole point of recruitment as a MUTUAL selection process.

By: Say It

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by: @Say It   

Two days for sisterhood isn't for the PNMS, silly. It's so the women doing the recruiting can eat, take a break, not stand on their feet for 15 hours straight! Your PNM, if she was lucky to get a bid, will be one of those women next year. Do you want her sick and exhausted just so some PNMs don't have to sit around? The PNMs can go do something fun if they are so bored!

By: @Say It
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by: Agree   

I totally agree with you. There's nothing mutual about it when PNMs aren't even given the courtesy of an in person conversation at all of the houses.

Open house rounds need to be in person. If it takes two days, so be it. I also think there needs to be more weight given to how the PNMs rank the houses, or they need to stop calling it "mutual selection."

Personally, I think the first cuts should be made by PNMs and PNMs only. Sororities should not be able to cut anyone until Sisterhood round. So, for Open House rounds and Philanthropy rounds, the PNMs would make the cuts and if they do not choose to return to a house, then it's not on their schedule anymore (and they're not penalized for "not maximizing their options" - aka allowing themselves to be used as filler for the houses no one chose.) For Sisterhood and Pref Night, the houses would make the cuts. I think this would be much more "mutual selection" and would ensure that no PNM ends up having to choose between joining a house she has consistently ranked last and knows is not a fit or not going Greek at all.

This will never happen because people would be up in arms about how PNMs need to have an open mind and give everyone a chance instead of thinking they're too good for certain chapters without getting to know them... Yet these same people will vehemently defend chapters cutting PNMs for superficial reasons without getting to know them.

By: Agree
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by: Tri Phi   

There was no transportation for the PNM’s to go “do something fun”. There also wasn’t any food or refreshments for them. I’m so sorry that y’all had to work hard! LOL

By: Tri Phi
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#6by:    
#6    

Someday, a new active may have a daughter. So by these new rules, only people with no history, financial or otherwise should be allowed in. Be careful what you wish for!

By: Legacy
by: @Legacy   

PLENTY of women with no "history" have gone on to be exemplary sorority women who have given back to their organizations for years after graduation. More than I can say for the majority of legacy women I know.

Careful, your bigotry and privilege are showing, and it's not very becoming.

By: @Legacy
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by: Legacy   

I was not a legacy and you are libeling me! I joined by luck. My point is by your theory then no legacy that keeps a tradition going should be allowed to join a sorority. Only new unaffiliated women. It’s a new kind of bigotry!

By: Legacy
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by: @Legacy   

I am not "libeling" you. Nothing is preventing a woman who is a legacy from going through recruitment. If she really has been taught and lives an organization's values, that will show to recruiters. But she shouldn't get preferential treatment just because she is a legacy, which is what legacy policies are designed to do. Also, your legacy may decide she does not want to join your sorority. She may want to join another group and should get a fair chance just like anyone. By your reasoning, your legacy may not get a bid from a group she really wants because that group may favor their own legacies over her.

Getting rid of legacy policies means every woman regardless of who her maternal relatives are gets equal consideration during recruitment FOR WHO SHE IS AS AN INDIVIDUAL.

By: @Legacy
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by: Legacy 2    

I know of four legacies who were cut at the video round this year. And the “recruiters” on other threads are admitting that all the recruitment is done over the summer via Instagram and social media.
Legacy policies were changed at many nationals after the “racial reckoning” of 2020 because of “privilege”. Meanwhile the black sororities maintain their legacies and their traditions. It’s a joke.

You should judge the women by 1. Their resumes and accomplishments and 2. Recommendations by fellow sorority sisters and 3. Meeting them in person to see how they conduct themselves and hold a conversation.

If legacy status means nothing and recommendations mean nothing, then a national sisterhood means nothing.

By: Legacy 2
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#7by:    
#7    

Ok, so then if you have a girlfriend or a sister in a house she should not be allowed to help you right?? We know that happens even for COB!

By: Legacy
by: @Legacy   

That's not the same as legacy policies, and if you were really in a sorority, you'd know that. A legacy policy helps someone who has no connection with women in a house get a leg up on women they know will be good sisters just because the woman they don't know has a relative who was in the sorority (often at a different school, long ago, even). Why even have recruitment then if you just want to give bids to only legacies? Sure, a member may favor their friend from high school or someone else she knows personally, but isn't why we do recruitment in the first place for people to meet each other and make connections? By your reasoning, the women in the chapter don't have to get to know legacies, just accept them and take them no matter what! Why give up the videos like you're arguing for then if we just are going to hand out bids to relatives no questions asked.

By: @Legacy
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#8by:    
#8    

I may have appreciated your original premise if you had been consistent in your arguments. However, you lost me when you claimed your version of preference was acceptable instead of looking at “THE PERSON AS AN INDIVIDUAL”.

By: Legacy
by: @Legacy   

I don't know what you are even talking about because I didn't not give "my version of preference." I haven't talked about preference round at all, just that legacy policies and recommendations are antiquated, do not work as intended, and need to be eliminated.

You are even less consistent in your arguments and don't see how what you are advocating for could have worked against you in some places and could work against your relative(s) in the long run.

Interesting note: The discussion about getting rid of legacy policy actually started because in some places, there were far more legacies going through recruitment than spots to offer in a chapter. You don't have to have a discussion with a disappointed relative about why a certain legacy got cut if there isn't a policy in the first place. Helping to increase opportunity comes as an added benefit to eliminating policy. In retrospect, may have been better just to tell all of you that your legacy wasn't getting in no matter what from the get go, but feelings would still have been hurt.

By: @Legacy
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by: @Legacy   

Also, when you know someone, you made the effort to get to know someone as individual, whether it be in class, in COB, or recruitment. Your way of doing things means some people are going to get asked back regardless whether anyone knows them or not. That may mean that someone who is well-known to be a good fit for the chapter could get cut because that person is ranked lower just for not having a relative who had been a member (again maybe in another school, long ago).

Recommendations can be written by anyone, whether they know someone well or not. Plenty of examples of people asking strangers for recs because they don't know anyone in a certain sorority. I personally know alums who just review the resume and don't get to know the person at all to write the rec.

By: @Legacy
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by: Legacy   

Ok conversation is over! look up the word preference as in preference for a legacy or preference for friend from high school.

By: Legacy
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by: @Legacy   

And you think about what it means to get to know someone as an individual (friends count, that's human nature and how the wider world works) versus just trusting that someone is a good fit by luck of birth or random strangers' opinions. I just answered your question above.

Fact of the matter is you just want to use whatever method gets your relative in your sorority, whether your relative even wants that or not. If they are friends with people in the chapter great, but if not, they should get in just because they are related to you. People who are not legacies are suspect (even though you were not one) if it means your relative may not get an invite. I feel I have been very consistent in my arguments, unlike you.

Good day to you.

By: @Legacy
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by: OutOfState   

While there's certainly something to be said about non-legacies, the poster on the anti-legacy side of this debate appears to simply favor a form of nepotism that they can control, rather than true equity. They don't come out and say it, but in the end, the system they propose is still about who you know, rather than who you are. For someone from out of state, or is otherwise lacking these connections, nothing changes.

By: OutOfState
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#9by:    
#9    

This "nepotism" only matters if you want to buy in that the "In State" sororities are somehow better than the ones that have a mix of in-state and out-of-state members. That's what the in-state people want you to believe, and maybe that's true for them because their friends are in those chapters. But if you truly have an open mind about the chapters at Clemson, you will see that many of the mid and lower tiered chapters are filled with women who would pass for "top house" sororities if you didn't know their affiliation. They are just as beautiful, accomplished (maybe more so since they are competing for out-of-state acceptance to Clemson), social, fun, and talented as the in-state girls in "top" houses. And these chapters are willing to give out-of-state women a chance because many of them are out-of-state as well or are in-state women who want to make new friends (and not continue college as 13th grade). Some out-of-state schools even end up becoming feeders for Clemson, so your argument that being out-of-state means you automatically lack connections is false as well for some people. Basically, stop buying into in-state as being top and work on getting to know all the sororities in recruitment.


The PNMs who got cut from "top" group will be a recruiter next year if she gets a bid elsewhere. Are you saying then she has to take someone who she doesn't like just because they are a legacy or because we "have to" take out-of-state people? Human nature is going to prevail here; people will gravitate to the people they like. The best we can do is teach and encourage people to recognize implicit bias and how to counteract it. Sororities are making efforts in that regard. Recognizing implicit bias goes for BOTH chapters and PNMs. Keeping an open mind works both ways.

You're only talking "nepotism" and lack of "equity" because you buy into the falsehood that the "top" groups (on GR no less) are the only good ones at Clemson, and you didn't get in, so that must be the reason. Why would you want to be in a group that doesn't prefer you in the first place? Recognize that you have great qualities these groups are missing when they don't take you, and use those qualities to make the mid or lower tier group the best it can be. Those groups are willing to give you a chance, and if people stop believing the falsehood, then everyone will see how truly top of a group you are.

By: @OutOfState
#10by:    
#10    

I don’t choose to believe that the top sororities or really any sororities would not like my daughter if they actually had a chance to get to know her. However, she did slip through the cracks and that’s fine but just wondering which sororities might Spring Rush or participate in COB? Also, which sororities met quota?

By: COB and Spring rush
by: Tiger Mama    

I’d advise her to simply get to know girls on campus at class and in the dorms. Every house will COB at some point.

By: Tiger Mama
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