The Life of a Snu Pledge

It is a fine Monday morning. I have just handed in a bid to the greatest fraternity on Earth, Sigma Nu (I didn't have bids anywhere else). As I walk onto campus alongside my 7 other p bros, I feel almost invincible. I'm proud to be a Sigma Nu pledge.

While some may say that having less than 10 freshman join and then being forced to snap bid random Durhamites walking near campus is a failure, I simply see it as an opportunity. I am a Sigma Nu pledge, which means one day I will become a Sigma Nu brother. And with that comes the ultimate prize. I stand on the shoulders of giants who have come before me (our average member height is 5'6"). I'm proud to be a Sigma Nu pledge.

I can already see it now. The clout. The late nights. We are the coolest guys on campus. And hey, we may only have 10 of our fellow p bros to chant along to A Million Voices in Markham with, but just think about the ratio. I'm proud to be a Sigma Nu pledge.

There are so many reasons to join Sigma Nu. We didn't want any of those guys who went Adphi anyway (we pleaded and begged them for hours to come). They couldn't handle this level of clout. I'm proud to be a Sigma Nu pledge.

I walked into WU today, chin up and head high, knowing that each person I saw was staring at me in awe. They didn't say anything, but I could tell what they were thinking. I skipped the entire line at Sprout and my personal chef handed me my own preprepared meal (I had mobile ordered 30 min prior). I'm proud to be a Sigma Nu pledge.

I was snapchatting a girl and when I told her I was in Sigma Nu, she responded with twelve laughing emojis. Its okay I know she's nervous to speak to me because of my clout. I get into my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I begin to tear up, wondering if maybe I was wrong. We have a pledge class of ten losers that our own fraternity doesn't even like and the rest of campus hates us. But then, a calming presence enters the room.

There I see it, The Burning Man. He comes closer and whispers into my ear, "But remember the late nights little one". I am instantly relieved and washed over with gratitude for having received a bid to the greatest fraternity in the universe, Sigma Nu (again, I had 0 other bids).

I'm proud to be a Sigma Nu pledge.