From one heartbroken PNM to another ❤️
by: Curious :/
So here we are heartbroken and discouraged. We can NOT judge our self-worth off 2 - :30 minute conversations and for some house(s) zero conversations. SERIOUSLY there are 500 girls in each house, the retention is higher in the “desired” houses so they take less PNMs. If 500 girls know at least 1 girl, do the math our odds are not great :(. It’s NOT YOU, this does not mean we’re not pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough, qualified enough or fashionable enough etc etc it literally means we knew NO ONE (or not enough) girls to keep us on their list. And yeah there’s a small % that gets into the “desired” houses with 0 connections but remember there’s 2,274 PNMs, what are our chances? Slim to none! Even legacies are dropped to make room for member’s friends. Other Universities (besides other big SEC schools like Ole Miss with 2,000+ PNMs and 11 houses) do not go through these deep cuts. They will NEVER understand the courage it takes to take on the UARK rush process. I read a post that said rush is a competition. Guess what? It may be but it’s a competition where several girls have a head start and you know what, that’s life and yeah IT SUCKS but we can either choose to move forward with grace & a smile or we can allow them to continue to hold us back and get further ahead.
So as PNMs that are the 1/2 being convinced to stick it out, DECIDE FOR YOURSELF, it’s your $4,000. You can;
1. Give your last house or houses a fair shot
2. Drop and find friends elsewhere (where are the UARK non-greek women’s organizations???)
3. Build those connections needed for the house you liked & do COB (don’t sign your bid card)
4. If you want a certain house (legacies etc) transfer to a smaller University or one with less PNMs and more houses
But whatever you do remember the 1st step to becoming a leader is to look yourself in the mirror and LOVE YOURSELF for who you are!💕 We all want to be appreciated but are so slow to appreciate others. So PLEASE don’t judge yourself or the girls in the non-desired houses based on 2 - :30 minute conversations.
Good luck ladies! As for me I’m giving my last 2 houses a fair shot.
REMEMBER we are ALL CAPABLE of making an impact, even without a head start!
Comment#2by: Greek life gals
Right now in this moment for the girls who got cut and left with houses they weren't fond of or as excited of I know this feels like the worse thing. Right now as an 17-19 yr old this feels like it matters. But as a proud upperclassman im here to say it doesnt matter. It felt like it did to me 4 yrs ago. And I almost didnt continue. But i chose to and am extremely happy with my choices. You may not realize your why right now but rather its at bid day, big/little week, formal, or even philanthropy events I promise wherever you land you will realize your WHY. youre why for being a apart of this sisterhood. The WHY to why you stayed. The WHY behind the reasons you still choose to be a part of that chapter. If you give it a fair chance youll find it.
#3by: Important!
This is all positive and great advice. I just want to add, if you know you are not less than others that did get invites back to houses you loved...then know girls EXACTLY like you are the ones in the house/s you do have left. They aren't less than either. And the hundreds of other PNMs you are rushing with in the EXACT same position as you aren't less than either...and their going to be the PC of these houses. It's so easy this week to get caught up in what appears more polished on the surface or is talked up a lot, and miss out on the best thing for you. Don't fall for it! With sororities as large as ours and how huge this PC year will be you WILL find your people! Every single PC is making these sororities stronger and better. Think of what your chapter could look like in 2 or 3 years if you give it a chance and get involved. Think of the future PNMs that may end up with houses left that weren't their first choice either, and how you can make them feel more at home and loved because you've come out the other side better for it. By all means, it's a time and financial commitment, so do what you need to do for you. But I can't recommend sticking with it enough and I hope most of you do.
#4by: ^what they said
also keep in mind if you're banking on doing COB because you don't like whoever you have left....chances are the only ones eligible and willing to COB are the same ones you have now. or a house you managed to get off your schedule if you got to cut someone earlier in the week. don't be a girl that feels too good for what you have left or a house you cut. you aren't. be honored and excited to join a sisterhood here because they are all deserving and amazing. and your best chance at being a part of this sisterhood is to take your bid.
by: Well,
I feel that was a mistake but I hope it was the right choice for you, and if you do regret it that there are options for you to join.
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by: PNM
I don’t think that was a mistake. You know yourself and know what’s best for you.
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by: Well,
I mean no, if anyone is being judgmental it's the PNMs that drop because they don't like who they had left. I know that's harsh but think about it from the perspective of the members of the 2 sororities everyone ranks last and that girls would rather drop than give a chance. That is literally telling what 700-800+ girls (2 whole sororities) that the PNM thinks they're too good to be with them. That out of those ~800 girls there aren't ANY that the PNM likes enough to be friends with or will have anything in common with.
It's also a slap in the face to the nearly 400! PNMs that made up the wonderful new PCs of these 2 houses. If a PNM truly thinks they can't find their people in a PC of ~200, then I'm sorry but that's the PNMs issue, not the sororities current or new members.
People don't like to hear this and I'm sure it will make some mad. But it's straight up $hitty to put in so much work to your chapter and rush, and want these girls back because you value them, just for them to not even give your pref or bid day a chance. It is a financial commitment and I do understand deciding greek life just isn't for you.
But reading comments about heartbroken PNMs, who are sad about their cuts and wanted to find a home, quit on us...yeah I think it's reasonable to express my disappointment. I hope people being understanding to the feelings of the girls who drop can be equally understanding to the feelings of a girl whose sorority was worth dropping over.
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by: Well,
I want to add, it's totally okay to express your feelings at the time you're feeling them. That's what the OP did and it's what I'm doing now. And every year a lot of girls act on their disappointment and drop, and then join a sorority with a COB, or spring rush, or as an upperclassman. And if that is something any girl who dropped wants, please know I still want you to join! whether it's my sorority or not, every member welcomes all new members! None of the feelings I expressed means I'll feel any differently about a girl joining later. Not that it should any way change someone's feelings about joining, but I wanted to make that clear before anyone accused me of not being supportive of girls who dropped joining later. And I also have plenty of friends who dropped rush too. I understand there are lots of factors and my disappointment right now isn't some forever judgement on people. But I hope anyone reading does try to understand my POV.
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by: Yes!!
From someone else in a sorority also normally ranked at the bottom….ALL THAT! There were girls we talked about and were excited to see back that never showed and we’d find out later dropped out of rush. One I talked to all week and was on our pref list dropped instead of coming to our house and I really liked her. I was sad she didn’t feel like we could have been her place. On the one hand I want girls that want us back. On the other I still hope she changes her mind and COBs. I’m glad someone is talking about our experience on the other side!!
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by: So true!!
This is so true! Good luck to everyone!
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