What are my options...
by: options?
I have 2 houses, one I love, one I dont. I plan to to only write one down tonight, unless option 2 blows me away today. If I don't get my top choice, what are my chances of COB? Will my only choices for COB be the houses I had at Sistherhood round? Or will any house with spots give you a chance?
Background: I came from out of state and don't have connections to anyone in any house, other than I'm a legacy to one that cut me.
#1by: Hog
I know it’s hard but continue to have an open mind no matter what. Ask the members of the house you’re not in love with questions of why they stayed, why they love their chapter and how it’s made them grow. I say whatever your bid card reads tomorrow know that that house wants you and can give you so many opportunities. Give them a chance, go in open minded and put yourself out there if all else fails you can resign before initiation and try COB. But get it a chance it may surprise you.
Commentby: Hog
I know that this process can be so hard and so stressful. Just know that you’re doing everything right and you’ve done everything you can. I know a year without a sorority wouldn’t be what you expected but I wasn’t in a sorority my freshman year and I made a lot of friends in my dorm and I don’t regret it for a second. In my opinion you should continue to be open minded and accept a bid regardless of the house. If you don’t like it and end up resigning you’ll have a year to meet people in all of the houses on campus and have connections that can help you get into one you want. Just another piece of advice but no matter what anyone tells you it’s ultimately up to what you want to do and you shouldn’t be ashamed of what you decide to do.
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by: options?
I keep hearing this, but this is a two way street. I wouldn't take a job just because it's offered to me or date a boy just because they like me...I have to want to date them too. If i put both down and get in #2 (AND end up still not liking it)...I'm not able to do anything for a year.
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by: To options
You’re right you, you don’t have to take a bid just because it’s been offered to you but if you have even the slightest bit of happened or connection to the house you get on your bid card give it a chance. You may find your place now rather than later if you do. Don’t worry let the anxiety of the process get to you. Be excited that tomorrow you could be running home to where your new best friends are waiting for you if you give them the chance.
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by: options?
Thank you. I haven't ruled them out and will give them a fair shot...but I have to follow my heart and it's a 2 way street. I also get a choice in what sorority I want to belong, and if nothing changes after my party today...I'm not just going to go to a house to go...I want it to be somewhere I'm excited about and LOVE.
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by: Well
I completely respect that. If you go in today with fresh eyes and still aren’t feeling it, then it might be the best option for you. Just remember you’re only getting the opportunity to talk to a handful of the girls from that house. There are all types of girls in every house. Good luck ❤️
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by: Why?
by: options?
They didn't reject me. I had to make cuts too...sometimes based on who had the best video. Pretty hard to base a whole house off who hired the best videographer?
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by: Hi
Of all years this year may be the one I would suicide bid. I wouldn’t pay all that money to not do anything and not be happy with my choice. It’s a tough call though because sophomore recruitment is very difficult. Yes you would need to be in sisterhood round to get a cob. Those will go to goes that just barely didn’t make the cut off. Good luck!
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#4by: pnm
tbh you should be grateful, you have two option and we sign a contract to accept a bid regardless unless we have zero bid, we can cob. other than that, you have to wait another year to rush. There girls who have been completely cut from 11 houses or only have one option.
by: options?
I am grateful to have 2 options, but I also get a say in where I choose to go. It is not a one way street. I will be paying for the sorority on my own and it's only worth it to me, if I get to go somewhere I really LOVE.
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by: pnm
girl, you're not the only one, there girls who have one house and are not completely in love yet they gave a shot. If you don't give a house a 2nd chance, you can drop it before fees come. boohoo to you, poor me!
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#5by: FYI
COB is a shot in the dark for many. It just is. So don't get your hopes up of getting into a house who has already given you a once over and gave you a NO. I am trying to be as honest as I can. You are better going off into the sisterhood who is now welcoming you based on what they saw in you through recruitment. If you don't like it you will know you gave it a chance but I thing you may be pleasantly surprised. This same scenario plays out year after year and girls wind up loving the house who gave them a bid on bid day.
#6by: hi
I had the same thing happen to me last year. I had two choices left-one I LOVED and one I did not. I talked to them and gave them a shot at pref, but I knew that I would not be happy there. I decided to put both down (someone told me that it may increase your chances of getting what you want but do not ask me to explain it b/c I didn't understand it). However, I knew that if I didn't get my first choice, I would drop out. You are the one joining the sorority. You are the one who has to live your life. This is your decision. Don't feel guilty about it or let someone shame you or say you should be grateful for what you get b/c some people got dropped. I told my first choice that I loved them, asked them lots of questions, and let them know that I really wanted them. It worked out and I got my first choice. Best of luck to you! This is hard. I hope it all works out!!
#8by: My story
I think that we put an unrealistic pressure on feeling a perfect fit in recruitment week and at Pref. A lot of girls go into Pref unsure, and a lot don't feel comfortable right away and THAT IS OK. I got my second choice and was devastated, but gave them a shot, and it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. When I was crying on the phone to my mom about my favorite who cut me, she reminded me that I knew nothing bout them a week ago, and to go with the women who liked me and wanted to get to know me. I got to know girls in my Pledge Class and really felt super comfortable the next year. It is like any relationship....it takes time! Best of luck to you in whatever you decide!
#10by: Check with your Gamma Chi
You might want to ask very pointed questions to your Gamma Chi regarding COB. If you have 2 preference parties & you sign your MRABA, check on that binding agreement. If you “suicide” and only choose your top house, I know that you are ineligible for a snap bid, but I’m not sure if you are also ineligible for COB. If you put both houses, get your 2nd choice and drop in a month or so (& I would really encourage you to wait a month to get to know the girls), I think you can still spring rush. Ask her about all your options before your sign that preference card!
by: Rules
YES this info is correct! If you suicide bid (only put one house down) and they DONT offer you a bid, you are not allowed to rush or COB for a full year (so next fall recruitment). Suicide biding is just a bad choice all around. Like everyone in the comments says, you should write both and if you get the one you didn’t want, you’re allowed to drop and would be able to do COB this year
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by: options?
My gamma chi gave me conflicting info to what you are saying. 1st she said "snap bids" arent a thing at Arkansas. She also said if i put 2 houses down, and dont want my 2nd choice that i cant rush for a year because im bound to the 2 options i choose depending on who chooses me. i also am no longer able to talk to her...she told me that this AM, so im really lost. i read the handbook and it says, "any PNM who dropped out of or was released in recruitment process before signing an MRABA or was not mathed with a chpater in the bid matching process is eligible to participate in COB". If i choose 2 options and regret it. Im stuck.
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by: ??
by: options?
on our 7am zoom she said she can no longer talk to us. i am getting ready to do 2 back to back parties and dont feel like there's anyone to ask advice from. not that she's really been that helpful along the way. unfortunately i think zoom has made everything very impersonal. it's really sad this year and i'm thinking this may not be for me.
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by: ??
I’m so sorry, I’m not doing recruitment this year and since it’s all new, that just shocked me that you can’t talk to your gamma chi now.
Good luck at your parties! Just trust your gut. I promise you that you will find girls just like you in any house!!
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by: yes
She is correct....you can't talk to your Gamma chis anymore. Strict silence. I thought there was someone else you could talk to about this if you still had questions, b/c it is so confusing. I had a friend who only got 1 house for pref and did not want it but she was upset and confused and signed her Mraba and knew right away that she didn't want a bid to that house after she went to bid day but it was too late and then she had to wait for a whole year to rush again. Make sure you know your choices and the consequences before you commit!
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by: options?
I appreciate this and really respect your advice.My only issue with this, is if I give it a chance (and don't go with my gut) and still not like it, I cant do anything for a year.
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