srats as zodiac signs

since y'all don't know how to make this fun and positive, I'm going to slander every house and zodiac sign now. you're welcome.

--pi phi is libra because they are romantics in the sense that they see themselves as perfect despite their obvious 90% anorexia rate, also can't make a decision to save their precious lives
--aphi is leo because they are the most self-obsessed people on the planet, also very image-obsessed and all about the glitz and glam
--dg is taurus because it's like talking to a brick wall; aquarius because they are literally emotionless, never seen anywhere in the wild
--kappa is gemini because their second face comes out when they party; scorpio because they are completely unhinged and extremely vengeful
--theta is sagittarius because they are light-hearted but also don't care about anyone else but themselves; aries because they also have a fiery energy even though they're mostly airheads
--axo is capricorn because they know how to grind but are frankly really boring and antisocial; virgo because they are perfectionists
--adpi is pisces because they are sweet and innocent and really just the ditziest of the bunch
--gphi is cancer because they are caring and emotional, but generally a lot to handle, also not appreciated for superficial reasons