getting over rejection

Hey i totally felt the exact same way you did. I went in hoping it wasnt going to be a superficial process but turns out it was. Disappointed but not suprised. I accept the fact that im not attractive but it did hurt when it was very obvious that they based their judgements on that fact. I dont really know what to tell you to make you feel better bc honestly it still bother me but know that youre not alone in feeling that way

It might not be your looks. The main reason women get dropped is their GPA. While Panhel might list a minimum, some sororities set a higher GPA standard that is not publicized. I am very curious if you were you dropped by all the groups or just a few? Did you give all the strats a chance or did you drop after the top houses dropped you?

I am sorry some women were rude to you. I hope some women were nice to you and you seriously considered those sororities. All sororities have guidelines that push them to value the whole woman: grades, activities, looks, values, friendliness/conversation skills, and interest/disinterest. If you look at the pledge class pictures, sure there are lots of pretty girls, but each house also has average looking girls as well.
Unfortunately, the recruitment process requires each chapter to pick a few new members from hundreds of women who sign up, based on the little info they have about you and the short conversations they have with you. It is hard to repeatedly have authentic conversations with strangers if short time spans. If you or the sorority member are not artful or simply energetic enough to maintain continuous spontaneous conversations, then the interaction can seem and feel superficial, even if you both sincerely want to connect.
Consider going through recruitment as a sophomore. If you are involved in campus organizations, maintained good grades, and socially connected with other women on campus, you will probably have a much different experience going through recruitment even if your looks are the same.

I agree with “Hmmm” poster. Try again! Besides, there is no such thing as hopelessly unattractive girl! Have you ever considered experimenting with makeup? I know there is a type of girls who refuse wearing makeup, thinking that it puts them above those who do. They think that they embrace their natural beauty or whatever... But appearance is like gardening— if you do not trim and nourish a rose, it will not look good. There is a lot you can do if you want to look better— experiment with your hair color, go to the mall and schedule a makeup tutorial session.There are plenty of online tutorials. Experiment! Do not wear basic sweats or clothes that shows how little you care about your appearance. Don’t give up! If you are overweight it doesn’t matter! I have seen heavy girls in top sororities. You should learn to feel comfortable with who you are and be sweet and humble. Yes humble, because in any social group there is an unofficial hierarchy based on seniority and social roles. If you thought they were rude, it is possible that they did not see you as someone who really wants to be their sister. It is possible that your insecurity made you close your “shell” and it was a turn off for some of the girls. Try again next year, meanwhile, work on yourself. You may find the rejection to be a stimulus for your own personal growth. If you read J.K. Rowling Harvard commencement speech, one of her messages is that rejection can be an engine for the future success!

Let’s be realistic! There is no true sisterhood among large numbers of girls! ( Same goes for any large group— wether it is all male or mixed.) Greek Letters stopped being important for people who were lucky enough to find their perfect little groups. Ideally, sororities should be about mutual support, empowerment and warm friendship that keeps one’s stress level low. But it is not given. I think that the righteous and naive posters (above) should offer some words of real support to the OP.

Trust me you aren’t missing much it’s not what it looks like on the outside.