bad experience didn't get a sorority bid

No, she has already made one very bad decision. I hope she doesn't make another one by trying to ask why she was cut from ANY chapter. It is private information and most members won't know anyway.

She CHOSE to go without a bid, Mom. You need to understand that.

She probably would have had a bid in hand on Bid Day, but she didn't even give that chapter that invited her to Pref a chance. Now she wants another shot at being in a sorority? Don't be surprised if she doesn't get one.

Sorry to be so brutally honest, but you make your decisions and you live with the consequences. She can try again next year, but she will have to have a very good freshman year in grades and spotless reputation. Help her move on.

I know you don't want to hear this, but there are many girls just like your daughter on campus: smart, pretty, homecoming queens, involved. So those things don't really stand out that much during recruitment. What chapters do notice is conversation, body language, kindness, etc. Did she treat all chapters as worthy of membership? There is one that she did not treat so kindly, she dropped out without giving them a chance.

Her campus is not entirely Greek, so you are very mistaken. In fact, the campus is less than 25% Greek. She will find other groups to get involved with.

There are at least two groups who made quota but will be doing COB because they are smaller in size that the other chapters. If she really wants to be Greek, she should give them a chance. If she really just wants to in a certain chapter, I have very little sympathy.

Not sure why she would drop a sorority that asked her back on the last night. She would have had a bid today if she didn't. Perhaps she had some issues with thinking she was "above" or "better" than other girls or certain sororities. Girls talk.

Also, some sororities extend bids within the first couple days after rush is over to meet quota. She might want to look into that, or doing rush in the Spring semester. A few sororities do it in the spring too.

Your daughter is not as special as you believe. It seems like you think too highly of her (not a crime, you're her mom after all). But that doesn't help in real life situations like recruitment where all the potential new members are similarly amazing and she doesn't stand out.

It looks like your daughter is haughty since she dropped the only chapter that expressed interest in her.

If your daughter can learn from this and humbles herself, there are 4 chapters COBing this fall.

If not...well then say hello to you threw away your chance to be Greek.

I have to agree that she should have at least went through the preference round with the sorority that asked her back. She may have found a place she actually liked.

My suggestion would be to get to know the chapters better through this year and meet girls and make connections. Hopefully history won't repeat itself again and she will be successful next Fall. Also some of the chapters did not make quota. She can show interest in one of those and then she may be offered a "snap" bid and her pledge ship can begin. Someone with her leadership skills and outgoing nature can be a catalyst for change in a chapter.

If you only write down one sorority after pref night, it is considered "suiciding". The name explains it all. I do not feel sorry for her. I got dropped by multiple sororities that I loved. I got a bid from one that I over looked all through recruitment, and what do you know-- I LOVE it, and all the women in it. "trusting the process" is a real thing. You eventually end up where you belong. It was a humbling experience for me, but I am also with girls who wanted me and loved me from the beginning. You can't ask for anymore than that.

I feel this. I was promised a bid by two top sororities at the beginning of the week and got neither. There are things called snap bids. If she hangs with with girls from a sorority, and that's all her friends, she can ask if they are doing snap bids, meaning they take you on the spot. Or she can wait till spring recruitment. I don't understand why unless she has a bad GPA or she was shy during conversations.
I wish her the best!!

So did she do a "suicide bid"?

I did that in college, I wrote down only one. For had they not picked me, I could have gone through open rush and not had to wait a year. I was fortunate and the feeling was mutual.