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active sister ama

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I thought that it would be extremely useful for PNM's if I created a thread to ask me anything about Greek life. I am an active sister here at Vandy and believe that I have a good well rounded view on it. I will answer pretty much any question, except ones like what house I am from.

Posted By: Secret Sister
Page 4 of 5
#31by:    
#31    

It's the day!

By: ABGe
#32by:    
#32    

My darlings, I am so proud of y'all for surviving rush and bid day. Please continue to use this forum as a safe place. The amount of positive response is amazing. I wish all of you the best with Greek life and the new semester!
xo, Secret Sister

By: Secret Sister
#33by:    
#33    

Secret Sister a quick question for you: Why weren't you honest in your commentary earlier in the thread about how every year more and more fab ladies are disregarded and dismissed by so many of the houses? Still don't understand how you justify your 'everything will be ok' philosophy given the drop numbers this rush and the number of tears from so many great ladies. Something is seriously wrong with this system imo. I personally think Secret Sister and her ilk are part of the problem and NOT part of the solution. I'm curious why you think your 'kinder and gentler' approach to advice is either kind or correct? Seems like cruelty to me!

By: done
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by: Secret Sister   

Unless PNM's intimately know the mechanics behind rush (how the computer actually ranks, cuts, houses talking to each other, etc.), it is very hard to have a conversation about not being invited back to houses. I am guessing based o your comment that you are dissatisfied by your rush experience. If you did not receive a bid, I recommend you checking out COB as an option. I think it is a great way to get into a house with significantly less pressure. If you did end up in a house, I hope you give it a try for a couple of weeks and try to make the best of it. Worse comes to worse, you drop and rerush.

I hope you realize that it will all be ok because regardless of what house you end up in house or if you are non Greek, that does not have to completely define your college experience. You do not have to be in a sorority to socially survive at Vanderbilt. I know that things may seem turbulent right now with friends doing things with different houses, but it will honestly all work out. Those friends might stick by you or you might have to branch out and make new friends. But what underlies all of this, is you having a good attitude. If you are still having a difficult time processing rush, your Gamma Chi and the PCC are resources you can utilize. Hope this helps.

By: Secret Sister
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by: pete and repeat   

@ done: Are you of college age, or are you a Mom whose daughter(s) were Special Snowflakes at Recruitment and they didn't get into a Top Tier Sorority?

Your question is THE SAME QUESTION being 'discussed' (by the same anonymous poster using different names?) in nearly ALL the campus recruitment discussion areas on greekrank this year.

Someone on greekrank appears OBSESSED with repeatedly stating "GREAT AND FABULOUS women are being DISREGARDED AND DISMISSED in recruitment and MANY TEARS ARE BEING SHED by same!"

If that quote, which is posted pretty much everywhere on greekrank, were truly happening at ALL the campuses posted to I think Noah would need to bring back his Ark.

Maybe someone has a beef with NPC, whose UNANIMOUS AGREEMENT allows all 26 sororities parity in recruitment numbers. Apparently someone wants a campus to allow Top Tier Groups to pledge all 300 women who want them, and leave the Lower Tier groups their 12 pledges. NPC allows each group to pledge at least an equal number of women on one campus based upon the number of women attending Pref Party and signing their pref card.

Is the multi-poster advocating a campus DISMISS all lower-tier groups and bring-on only Top Tier Groups not already on campus? Or perhaps ADD Top Tier Groups on campus giving picky PNMs 'better sorority' choice and squeezing-out those pesky Lower Tier houses from campus?

The obsessed poster must believe anyone who goes thru rush deserves a TOP TIER HOUSE ONLY. SAD!

By: pete and repeat
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#34by:    
#34    

Thanks for the response 'secret sister'. I appreciate the fact that you gave a thoughtful response to my question. I just wanted to make sure that what you weren't saying is that the mechanics of rush are too 'complicated' for PNMs to understand and that this complexity is why you believe it kind to tell them everything is going to be ok? I believe that understanding the 'odds' at the beginning of the process would lead to PNMs making different decisions in terms of how they approach the process and the decisions that they make along the way. So, if what you are saying is that the process is too complex to explain upfront and that is why you chose to say continuously that its all going to be ok, I have to respectfully disagree. For many people in this rush things weren't ok and so they dropped. I believe that had they understood the process better that fewer would have dropped. This is just conjecture on my part but I believe that our system has so many wonderful people in ALL houses that most people should be able to find a sense of community in any of our houses.

I am curious if people that dropped would have appreciated more or less information on the process and whether having more information would have resulted in them not dropping early. I also am curious about the reasons for dropping. I love our school and greek life and so think that having feedback is a good thing!

By: done
by: Secret Sister   

I actually did post some of the more dominant mechanics, mainly cutting and ranking. But each individual house cuts and ranks based on its own criteria and, depending on the house, the typical sister might not even understand how her house ranks and cuts. I could explain how my house does it, but that only applies to 1/10 of the houses. Personally, I do feel like a veil exists around Greek life, especially around sorority recruitment. That is the main reason why I made this thread. I definitely posted secretive things I probably should not have, but did it in a manner that kept me and my house anonymous. To address the unfortunate case of girls dropping, from what I have seen, that is mainly driven by 'stereotypes' and social pressure. If you have concrete feedback with examples, I am sure Greek Life would appreciate feedback, especially in regards to the new Sisterhood Round.

By: Secret Sister
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by: she isnt   

Secret Sister has truly gone as far as she is able without 'giving away the store' explaining common sorority recruitment practices. She is def not saying things are too complicated to understand, she just cannot say anything further about recruitment because there are uninitiated people reading these posts. There are no special secrets to understand other than the secret each pnm holds in her own heart and mind as to how she personally acts and reacts to people and events around her. There also are no set 'odds' to recruitment. Some campuses have 90% bid day acceptance, others have 67%. And happily sometimes a campus will move from one year having 67% acceptance to 90% acceptance the next! The only certain 'odds' are that if you do not go thru one or more of the recruitment processes (formal, informal, COB) then 100% you won't be asked to join.

By: she isnt
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#35by:    
#35    

This really sounds like PNMs thought being in a top or middle house was their right or something and deopped because they didnt want an Alpha house. PNMs its on you.

By: its the PNM
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by: pete and repeat   

^^^^^AMEN!!!!^^^^

By: pete and repeat
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by: As If   

If the overall top tier NPC houses nationwide desire to break-away from the NPCs middle and lower tier houses, form a new organization and be allowed unrestricted build-up their chapter and new members numbers, I guess they have that right.

They won't, but that would be one way for @done to see more coddled, weeping, angry great ladies who intentionally dropped from rush join THE best possible top tier (in their opinions) collegiate sorority groups.

@done states many fab women are disregarded and dismissed by these top tier sororities in the first place. What on earth, other than POSSIBLY a numbers game, would cause these top tier sororities to choose these same fab women IF they had the chance SINCE they were previously voted unworthy and disregarded/dismissed? Somehow @done believes there were NOT LEGITIMATE REASONS for top tier groups to dismiss/disregard allegedly fab women OTHER THAN strictly numbers.

Top tier groups understand many PNMs want to join their orgs. They also acknowledge EVERY NPC group offers legitimate and worthy values, teachings, activities and standards for young women. By unanimously agreeing to NM parity, all NPC groups hope PNMs will take advantage of a Greek system that can and has been promoting women for over 165 years.

By: As If
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#36by:    
#36    

It's also on everyone who perpetuates ranking their fellow sisters. Ironic some march for women then rank each other. Fortunately, it's not representative of most at Vandy.

PNMs--What is on you is whether you allow anon posts to influence your decisions instead of actually seeing the process through for yourself. You can always drop before initiation and re-rush, but should at least give it a chance. You might discover for yourself what is true and untrue. Perhaps if rush were in the fall, you lived in sorority houses and had strict fraternity mixing, then your letters might affect your actual social experience more. However that's not the case at Vandy. Most girls form solid friendships and groups in the fall that don't just change because of letters. You still live together and socialize together for the most part. Even independent girls can have a great social experience at Vandy. Your letters are not labels and they don't define you as much as you define your letters.

Also, although it's mostly a numbers game, it's not strictly a numbers game. Quota, mutual selection, computer algorithm and human frailty all play a role. It's not always fair but it's also not intentionally unfair and it's not personal. @Secret Sister has given some really good insight and advice, especially about being open minded. Some houses are more competitive then others, not better. Don't confuse the two and don't listen to those that do.

By: Actually
by: done   

Brava "Actually"! Well said and I completely agree. I wish the conspiracy theorists such as 'pete and repeat' would take a breath. I think a lot of people are talking about the same issues because so many people did experience the same things in terms of quick and severe cuts. I think that 'Secret Sister' did her best to explain the basic mechanics of cuts but I am not so sure it really sunk in to the heads of many PNMs. On my floor at least what hit hard was getting cut almost immediately from what at least 4 people thought were their top 5 picks and this seemed to turn their worlds upside down. This quick cut for lack of a better term seemed to make it hard to focus on the other houses as people were so demoralized. You can throw the derogatory 'snowflake' term around all day long but even though I don't know the people on my floor really well, my sense is that they were so upset that they dropped before finishing. I am not certain whether it was because they had their hearts set on a specific house (don't think this was the case across the board) or that they just felt totally rejected by the system. People can advise PNMs all day long to keep an open mind but when you are feeling totally rejected/dejected it takes a fair amount of courage and maturity to keep on going with no certain outcome. I don't know why what happened this year did in fact happen, just sharing what I saw on my floor.

By: done
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by: Secret Sister   

Thank you @ Actually, this was very well put. I appreciate your insight. You are the type of sorority woman I was hoping to connect with PNM's through the hectic recruitment process.

By: Secret Sister
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by: It Is Better Now   

Recruitment has been quick-cut/heavy since 2003's RFM introduction. Why blame quick-cut for PNMs deciding to drop?

Have recruitment guides and the internet failed to inform PNMs they may only join ONE NPC sorority? What causes the freak-out if said persons still have ONE OR MORE party invitations?

Some college age students (and those younger than they) have been raised to believe everyone gets a wonderful prize no matter who they are, or in what place their team finished. What they want will they get, no questions and no argument. If they complain loudly enough and cry continuously, they WILL have their way.

Would that our recruitment system revert to a 125-years-ago system when a sorority bid was NOT obtained by an open party method, it was by invitation only from the sorority to the women. Even if you WANTED to be in a sorority, no invite=no bid=no joining.

By: It Is Better Now
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by: done   

@Itisbetternow. Question. Can you explain what you meant when you said, "What causes the freak-out if said persons still have one or more party invitations?" I think I get that you might be saying that most people had at least one option at the end of the process and that this fact is better than the way things used to be 125 years ago. I agree with this statement if that is what you meant. But where I think people had issues this year was that they might have had 5 names in their minds as options and then when those 5 options were no more and they were left with options they hadn't even considered then that is when things deteriorated for them and they quit. I don't know what the reasons behind all this drama is but it seemed that so many people seem to care more about what other people think of the letters on their clothes versus having a positive individual greek experience here at Vandy. But, I wonder if these perceptions of what is 'socially acceptable' are the result of the way we treat each other and speak about each others houses? That is why I applaud @Actually as I think that comment nailed at least part of this issue. I don't get why people cant recognize that we have super people in all houses and that a fantastic greek experience can be had at any house in our system. I am trying to get why people/PNMs didn't buy this idea this year? Just trying to understand....

By: done
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by: @done   

Interesting that last month's mention of repeated identical greekrank "great, fabulous women becoming disregarded, crying pnms with no greek homes" posts made those posts quietly disappear. GC had a similar incident with a similar poster during the same month. Hey, money can buy happiness in some places.

By: @done
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#37by:    
#37    

@done The explaining of what causes the freak-out belongs to those doing the freaking out. Yes, I did mean those women had one or more invites as they freaked.

Do today's pnms require additional time between recruitment party rounds to dry tears, call Mommy and Daddy and gather courage after being dropped? Are there women who are so insecure of their talents they feel no sorority except the popular one(s) will be able to utilize and improve their abilities?

As you and other state all the Vandy sororities provide a positive greek experience that grows and is for a lifetime, not just the collegiate years. Some panhellenic-minded women can and do work together for the betterment of ALL fraternities, not just the house whose letters and pin they wear.

By: It Is Better Now

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by: done   

@itisbetternow. Thanks for reply. I think I get what you are saying. I agree about the fragility of so many PNMs and how they seemed to drop at the first experience of rejection. It seems like so many things (like school) are all based around rewarding people mainly for simply showing up. Sure you need to have good grades but the issue is at a strong academic school most of us have the grades. Maybe recruitment was the first time for many PNMs that they have experienced a very clear and undebatable and unappealable rejection from their peers. This is just a guess on my part but it seems like people were crushed when their self view wasnt the same as the peer view and they were dropped and dismissed. I get that rejection is rough and hurts. But to eliminate the greek experience in its entirety based on hard feelings that last a few days seems a bit immature, self centered and short term in focus. These people will wake up and realize that the greek option no longer exists for most of them and honestly this is sad for the people that dropped and sad for our system as no doubt there were some strong candidates that dropped out way too soon. I simply dont understand at least finishing the process and pledging and see where things shake out before initiation. Not sure why more people wouldnt take this risk of at least trying. I hate the snowflake term but perhaps its relevant to describe what happened here. I'm honestly not sure....

By: done
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#38by:    
#38    

Good resource thread for PNMs

By: Good Thread
#39by:    
#39    

Snowfakes, snowfakes, snowfakes, snowfakes....no words to describe those that dropped out as they seemed to care more about the perception about the house they would pledge from people they don't even know vs. having a greek experience for 4 years. The insecurity behind this choice tells alot about the person I think. So, I'm glad none of these people ended up in my house!

By: rain
by: bb   

mmkay betch, not quite sure why you felt the need to add that.

By: bb
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#40by:    
#40    

Hello can you go into more detail about rushing as a sophomore. I got in the first round because of the GPA cutoff and I have improved my grades and plan on rushing once again. I was wondering if you have any tips for me to get into one of the houses that I want or if you can just talk about the differences as a sophomore and the average of how many spots there are for each house. Thanks

By: Commodore Chica
by: tt   

There's a sophomore quota but the focus is more on freshman and sophomore transfers in the more competitive sororities, so the key is to go in knowing as many people as possible and being very open minded. In less competitive sororities, the rounds matter more than connections. But for the more competitive, you need people pulling for you so connections, new or old, are very important. The latter is also relevant to freshman. The most competitive houses are those with the highest return rates, Kappa, KD, Theta, Tridelt and Pi Phi. Chi O can also be very selective for a specific type. Take the "we're so exclusive we're done before rush" talk with a grain of salt. It is mutual selection. More than one sorority might rush the same PNMs, so they would also have to be on that PNMs list. A very competitive sorority lost face on that claim this past year.

By: tt
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